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I 


\  \ 


WEDDING  GIFT, 

TO  ALL   WHO   ARE   EKTEEIXG  THE 

MAHRIAGE   STATE. 

EDITED    BY 

OOTESWORTH  PINCKNEY. 


'  The  kindest  and  the  loveliest  pair, 
"Will  find  occasion  to  forbear  ; 
And  something  every  day  they  live 
To  pity,  and  perhaps  forgive." 


BUFFALO : 
GEO.  H.  DERBY  &  CO.,  PUBLISHERS. 

AUBUEN : 
DERBY,  MILLER  &  CO. 

1849. 


Entered,  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1848, 

By  GEOKOF,  C.  RAXM  &  CO., 

in  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  of 

Massacliusetts. 


Stercotj'pcrt  and  printed,  by 

G.  C.  Rand  &  Co., 

S  Cornhill,  Boston,  Moss. 


PREFACE, 


Love  is  an  essential  element  of  connubial 
felicity  —  not  the  effervescence  of  youthful 
passion,  but  a  pure,  fervent,  and  endurmg 
regard,  that  -will  enable  the  man-ied  pair  to 
bear  ^ith  the  imperfections  of  human  nature, 
and  overcome  the  trials  of  life.  God  saw  it 
not  best  for  man  to  be  alone,  and  he  gave 
him  woman  as  his  most  fitting  companion. 
Marriage  is  not,  therefore,  a  mere  commer- 
cial transaction  —  it  is  an  institution  for 
mutual  happiness,  and  mutual  profit,  and  its 
great  end  can  never  be  answered  where  true 
and  sincere  love  is  wanting.  Let  me  coun- 
sel, then,  those  entering  into  this  holy  and  in- 
teresting relation,  to  guard  well  this  cardinal 
point.  And  after  the  m^riage  ceremony  is 
passed,  and  the  nuptial  vm\-s  shall  have  been 
exchanged,  and  the  novelty  of  the  married 


JLJ^iiiiiJZJ^JL 


life  wears  away,  see  to  it,  that  the  affections 
do  not  begin  to  lag  —  that  coldness,  or  indif- 
ference, or^fretfulness  do  not  invade  the 
saiTctuary  of  the  heart.  Rest  now  upon  your 
strong  mutual  regard,  and  let  the  affections 
that  have  been  but  recently  kindled  and 
cemented,  grow  stronger  and  stronger,  as 
time  and  age  may  be  given  to  you. 

In  this  little  volume  are  many  hints  and 
suggestions  calculated  to  promote  the  high- 
est interests  of  the  husband  and  the  Avifc  in 
the  various  situations  incident  to  the  mar- 
ried state.  The  young  married  pair  %\dll  not 
always  be  young — they  have  entered  upon 
a  relation  that  will  exist  to  the  end  of  life ;  — 
it  is  wise,  then,  to  look  to  the  end,  note  the 
way  marks,  and  pursue  the  path  that  leads 
to  happiness.  It  is  believed  that  this  humble 
effort  will  not  be  considered  an  unworthy 
offering  by  pastor,  friend,  or  lover,  to  any 
who  may  be  interested  in  the  subject  of  its 
pages.  C.  P. 

f 


CONTENTS. 


Preface, 3 

The  Young  Wife  in  her  new  Relationship,. . . .    9 

As  the  Head  of  a  Family, 11 

As  a  Mother, 11 

Cultivate  a  cood  Temper, 12 

Circumstances  of  Married  and  Unmarried  Life,  15 

A  Happy  Home, 16 

Hints  regarding  Relatives, 18 

Your  Husband's  Mother, 18 

Your  Husband's  Sister, 21 

Proper  course  for  the  Husband  —  Husband  and 

Wife  Independent  Beings, 23 

Keep  your  own  Secrets, 25 

Teil  not  your  Griefs  to  the  Opposite  Sex, 26 

On  the  Importance  of  Dress, , 28 

Personal  Appearance, , 29 

Evils  of  Slovenliness, 30 

A  Correct  Taste, 31 

The  Young  Mother, 33 

Joy  of  the  Young  Mother, 34 

The  Young  Mother's  Trust, 34 


CONTENTS. 


Tlie  Young  Mother's  Reflections, 35 

Self-examination  —  Responsibility, 37 

The  Christian  Mother, 39 

A  Mother's  Vigilance, 42 

Physical  and  Moral  Training, 44 

Woman's  Responsibility, 46 

The  one  Thing  Needful, 48 

Family  Worship, 49 

nencfits  of  Family  Worship, 51 

Home  Influences, 53 

Reasniiablcness  and  Moral  Beauty  of  Family 

Worship, 55 

Mode  of  Family  Worship, 56 

The  Family, 58 

Religious  Instruction  of  the  Mother, 58 

How  to  preserve  the  Heart  you  have  won,  ....  61 

Guard  against  Offences, 66 

Love  essential  to  Happiness, 67 

The  Married  State  an  Emblem  of  the  Heavenly,  68 

Sources  of  Unhappiness, 69 

Marriage  and  the  Sabbath, 71 

The  M  issionary 's  Wife, 72 

First  Afiection, 74 

Music  and  Love, 78 

Marriage  Hymn, 79 

To  Achsah, 81 

Oberon  to  Titaiiia, 83 

Ix)ve,  Hope, and  Beauty, 85 


CONTENTS.  / 

I  will  have  no  Husband, 86 

Burning  a  Love  Letter, 87 

The  Vow, 88 

The  Bride's  Farewell, 88 

When  should  Lovers  breathe  their  Vows, 90 

The  Emerald  Ring, 91 

Cupid  Captive, 92 

Love, 93 

The  Lady's  Yes, 94 

The  True  Heart's  Aspirations, 95 

To  my  Wife, 97 

The  Bride  of  the  Greek  Isles, 99 

Refusing  a  Dowry, 102 

White  Roses, ..» 103 

The  Bridal,... j|(ii 105 

A  Lassie's  Meditations, 109 

The  Sailer  Lover, 110 

The  Bridal, Ill 

A  Northern  Legend, 112 

A  Wife  to  her  Husband, 113 

Domestic  Love 114 

The  Wife's  Lament, 115 

Husbands, 117 

On  a  Marriage, 120 

Home  Endearments, 121 

The  Bridal  Day, .-..  123 

Home  Affections, 127 

On  Choosing  a  Husband, 128 


THE 


WEDDING    GIFT 


CHAPTER   I. 


TO     THE     YOUNG     WIFE     ON     HER     NEW 
RELATIONSHIP. 

Remember,  fair  daug^hter  of  love,  that 
by  the  holy  ceremony  in  which  you  have 
just  participated,  you  have  taken  upon 
you  a  title  the  most  honorable  amongst 
honorable  titles,  a  title  sanctified  from 
the  earliest  days  in  the  religious  duties 
of  civilized  society.  You  are  now  become, 
in  obedience  to  the  ordinance  of  God, 
man's  reasonable  companion,  and  the  end 
of  your  being  is  to  assist  him  in  the 
toils  of  life,  to  sooth  him  with  tenderness, 
and  recompense  his  care  with  soft  endear- 
ments. 


10  THE   WEDDING   GIFT. 

The  being  to  whom  you  are  now  united 
has'  selected  you,  above  all  other.%  from  the 
surrounding  thousands  of  your  sex,  to 
preside  over  his  house.  He  has  made  you 
the  partner  of  his  fortunes,  and  to  your  care 
has  he  entrusted  the  sum  of  his  domestic 
happiness.  The  solemn  vow  which  he  has 
made  at  the  altar,  to  take  you  for  better  or 
worse,  and  to  cherish  and  love  you  in  sick- 
ness and  in  health,  testifies  in  the  most 
forcible  manner,  the  sincerity  of  his  present 
attachment.  And  he  has  pledged  the  hap- 
piness of  his  future  life,  which  no  being 
would  do,  unless  in  the  unbounded  con- 
fidence of  a  judicious  selection  of  the  object 
of  his  aflections. 

Marriage  is  not  the  union  of  a  day,  a 
month,  or  a  year ;  but  an  union  which  will 
endure  for  many  years,  and  which  can  be 
dissolved  only  by  death.  Consider,  then, 
seriously,  the  responsibility  of  the  state  into 
which  you  have  entered. 


THK   WEDDING   GIFT.  11 

AS   THE    HEAD    OF   A   FAMILY. 

The  limited  sphere  in  which  you  have 
hitherto  moved,  has  now  expanded  into  a 
wide  field  of  usefulness.  As  the  head  of  a 
family,  you  will  be  regarded  as  a  pattern  by 
those  around  you,  and  upon  the  superiority 
of  your  judgment  they  will  depend  for  their 
guidance.  Your  domestics,  if  you  be  in 
such  circumstances  as  to  have  them  about 
you,  wUl  become  insensibly,  under  your 
influence  and  direction,  perfect  or  imperfect 
in  their  vocations,  and  useful  or  useless  as 
members  of  society.  Under  your  training, 
the  due  and  proper  discharge  of  their  duties 
may  be  rendered  a  source  of  happiness  to 
them  ;  by  your  disregard  of  your  duties  as 
a  misti-ess,  they  may  be  rendered  not  only 
useless  as  servants,  but  restless  and  unhappy 
in  themselves. 

AS   A   MOTHER. 

In  the  course  of  time  you  may  become 
the  mother  of  children,  to  whom  you  will 


12  THE    AVEDDING    GIFT. 

Stand  in  the  light  of  an  infallible  guide  and 
example*  unsullied  by  Jiabits  which  may 
prejudicially  influence  the  character  of 
youth,  and  free  from  every  sentiment 
calculated  to  injure  the  cause  of  virtue. 
As  their  mother  you  will  be  the  spring  of 
their  movements,  and  the  regulator  of  their 
habits;  and  upon  you  mil  chiefly  depend 
their  comfort  and  happiness. 

CULTIVATE   A   GOOD    TEMPER. 

In  the  relation  of  wife  a  most  important 
duty  devolves  upon  you  in  regard  to  the 
mainspring  of  domestic  felicity  —  temper. 
Till  this  important  period  of  your  life,  your 
sole  centre  in  this  respect  has  been  yourself 
However  wapvard  may  have  been  your 
wishes,  however  discontented  you  may 
have  been  at  times,  the  influence  upon  your 
temper  lias  only  aff'ected  yourself;  but  by 
marriage,  two  tempers  are  united,  which, 
if  they  do  not  as  accurately  blend  as  nature 
will  permit,  the  most  unhappy  consequences 


THE   WEDDING   GIFT.  13 

will  be  the  result.  A  proper  training  and 
conforming  of  temper,  therefore,  is  an  act 
of  the  very  deepest  importance.  It  is  an 
operation  which  will  require  much  reso- 
lution on  your  part,  especially  if  nature  has 
not  given  you  an  adequate  share  of  pliancy 
and  cheerfulness  ;  hut  as  the  prize  is  inesti- 
mable, so  must  your  endeavors  be  unceasing 
and  strenuous.  In  courtship  it  has  been 
remarked,  that  "  the  quarrels  of  lovers  are 
the  renewals  of  love ;  "  but  the  case  is  quite 
otherwise  in  the  married  state.  Beware, 
then,  of  the  first  disagreement,  beware  of 
the  first  unkind  word ;  far  better  will  it  be 
for  you  to  receive  ten  unmerited  rebukes, 
than  utter  one  unkind  word.  The  fonner 
will  give  you  a  triumph  over  yourself,  and 
an  ultimate  triumph  over  your  husband; 
the  latter  will  fill  you  with  humiliation  and 
regret.  A  good  temper  is  an  invaluable 
blessing,  not  only  to  the  individual  who 
possesses  it,  but  to  every  being  and  object 
within  its  influence.    It  is  like  a  healthy 


14  THE   AVEDDING   GIFT. 

atmosphere,  it  promotes  cheerfulness  and 
elasticity  of  spirits  in  all  around,  and  the 
most  gloomy  and  discontented  minds  can 
scarcely  resist  its  happy  power.  But  the 
temper  which  casts  this  influence  around  it 
must  not  be  confounded  with  that  easy 
disposition  which  nature  sometimes  gives, 
and  in  which  no  feeling  either  pleasurable 
or  other^nse  exists,  and  which  passes 
unmoved  amidst  those  points  of  sensibility 
which  constitute  the  charm  of  life. 

There  are  many  circumstances  to  be 
taken  into  consideration  in  offering  you  this 
wholesome  advice.  You  may  be  an  only 
child,  whose  parents  have  indulged  your 
little  fancies  from  their  warmth  of  affection ; 
you  may  be  one  of  a  family  blessed  by 
affluence  and  every  indulgence,  whose 
whims  have  never  been  crossed;  or  you 
may  be  one  of  a  family  who  have  been 
allowed  to  run  riot  and  uncontrolled;  to 
you,  the  surrendering  of  your  least  wishes 
may  be  a  task  apparently  insurmountable 
and  full  of  hardships. 


THE   WEDDING   GIFT.  15 


THE     CIRCUMSTANCES   OF   MARRIED    AND 

UNMARRIED   LIFE,   ESSENTIALLY 

DIFFERENT. 

Remember,  that  the  happiness  of  married 
life  and  of  unmanned  life  are  essentially 
dirterent ;  in  the  one  you  reign ;  in  the 
other,  you  are  governed ;  in  a  filial  point  of 
view,  you  have  no  actual  will  of  your  ©"nTi. 
Asa  wife  you  reign  in  your  own  household, 
and  are  regarded  with  consideration  by  those 
whom  you  visit,  and  by  those  by  whom  you 
are  visited ;  you  are  the  cherished  object  of 
one  who  has  attached  you  to  himself  by  an 
indissoluble  tie,  to  share  his  fortunes  to  the 
end  of  your  lives ;  who  will  partake  in  your 
sympathies,  and  make  you  participator  in 
his  own ;  and  whose  pleasures  will  be  in- 
creased by  your  enjoyment  of  them. 

No  man  would  knowingly  many  a  con- 
tentious, fretful,  or  discontented  woman  ; 
and  rest  assured  your  husband  is  not  an 
exception  to  this  rule.    If  then,  these  fail- 


16  THE   AVEDDING   GIFT. 

ings  constitute  the  defect  in  your  character, 
how  grievous  to  liim  will  be  the  deception 
which  has  been  practised  upon  him  in  con- 
cealing the  defect  till  it  is  beyond  his  power 
to  help  himself.  How  agonizing  to  him 
will  be  the  first  display  of  temper  from  a 
being  whom  he  has  considered  as  almost 
angelic ! 

A  HAPPY   HOME. 

AYhile  engaged  in  the  duties  of  life,  your 
husband  will  of  necessity  meet  with  nu- 
merous circumstances  to  harass  and  dis- 
tress him,  and  for  these  harassments  there 
is  no  solace  like  that  of  a  happy  home. 
The  world  will  corrupt,  home  should  refine ; 
the  one  even  in  the  sober  transactions  of 
life,  will  present  examples  of  craftiness, 
se'.f-interestedness,  and  laxness  of  moral 
principle;  and  even  in  its  most  alluring 
scenes  of  pleasure,  will  present  only  folly 
and  vanity.  By  mixing  with  these,  even 
without  participating  in  them,  your  hus- 


THE   WEDDING    GIFT. 


band's  mind  will  become  cankered,  and 
contract  a  rust  which  nothing  can  counter- 
act but  the  comforts  of  a  well  regulated 
and  happy  home.  "When  that  home  pre- 
sents a  picture  of  virtue,  innocence,  and 
peace,  none  but  a  depraved  mind  can  with- 
stand its  influence.  It  is  there  his  heart 
will  acquii-e  its  moral  lustre.  How  impor- 
tant, then,  is  it,  that  you  should  obtain  that 
influence  over  his  mind  which  shall  prompt 
him  to  turn  frequently  from  the  world  to 
your  society  for  happiness  and  refinement. 


18  THE   AVEDDING    GIFT. 


CHAPTER    II. 


HINTS     REGARDING   RELATIVES     OF     THE 
HUSBAND   AND   OF   THE  WIFE. 

The  solemnization  of  matrimony  and 
the  union  of  two  hearts,  as  man  and  wife, 
does  not  of  necessity  constitute  the  union 
of  the  fiimilies  of  each  party.  This  fact  is 
deserving  of  deep  consideration,  inasmuch 
as  it  is  not  a  rare  occun-ence  that  conjugal 
happiness,  if  not  entirely  broken  up,  is 
deranged  to  a  degree  almost  tantamount, 
by  the  jealousies  of  the  two  families. 

TOUR   husband's   3IOTIIER. 

You  will  have  been,  previous  to  the 
celebration  of  marriage,  received  by  the 
parents  and  friends  of  your  husband  in  the 
light  only  of  a  select  visitor,  and  as  the 


THE   WEDDIXG   GIFT.  19 

peculiar  intimate  friend  of  one  of  the  family. 
The  delegating  to  you  of  the  authority 
which  a  mother  exercises  over  a  son  tOl  his 
marriage — an  indefinable  authority,  wliich 
every  good  mother  exercises  over  a  good 
son  —  has  probably  never  once  flashed 
across  the  mind  of  your  mother-in-law. 
She  will  consider  him  to  the  latest  moment 
as  her  peculiar  property,  granted  to  her  by 
the  laws  of  nature;  a  being  whom  she  has 
reared  and  nourished,  and  trained  up  to  her 
i  own  mind,  and  whose  daily  progress  she 
has  watched  with  the  most  zealous  affec- 
tion. She  will,  therefore,  regard  with  in- 
stinctive jealousy  every  estrangement  of 
that  affection  which  has  existed  from  the 
birth  of  her  offspring. 

Now  there  are  two  points  of  view  in 
which  you  must  contemplate  those  feelings 
of  affection,  each  of  which  will  present  to 
you  a  favorable  vieAV.  First,  you  must 
bear  in  mind  the  affections  of  a  mother  for 
her  offspring.     If  she  were  a  worthless 


20  THE    -WEDDING    GIFT. 

woman,  and  not  fit  to  be  entrusted  with  the 
care  and  training  of  a  child,  she  would  not 
possess  these  jealous  feelings  of  attachment. 
Secondly,  you  may  rest  assured  that  if  a 
strong  attachment  exists  between  a  mother 
and  her  son,  it  prognosticates  favorably  for 
your  futui'e  happiness ;  for  an  affectionate 
son  rarely,  if  ever,  makes  a  bad  husband. 
It  may  be  said,  then,  that  if  you  wish  to 
obtain  a  partner  in  every  way  desirable  as 
the  companion  of  your  future  life,  you  must 
expect  a  jealousy  on  the  part  of  his  mother 
on  your  taking  him  from  the  home  of  his 
first  and  best  friend. 

Seeing  that  such  feelings  are  to  be  ex- 
pected, you  must  exercise  your  utmost 
circumspection,  as  happiness  is  the  prize. 
We  have  before  observed,  that  a  good 
mother  must  merit  your  esteem  ;  endeavor, 
therefore,  to  engage  her  affections  as  the 
mother  of  your  husband,  and  engage  her 
affections  also  as  a  senior  whose  experience 
is  worth  having.    As  a  chief  means  of 


THE   WEDDING    GIFT.  21 

obtaining  this  end,  form  a  resolution  in 
your  own  mind  to  be  pleased  with  her,  and 
you  will  find  that  in  this  almost  wholly 
consists  the  art  of  making  yourself  ac- 
ceptable. 

TOUR  husband's    SISTER. 

Another  relationship  also  presents  dif- 
ficulties equally  perplexing  with  that  above 
enumerated  —  it  may  almost  be  said  more 
peqjlexing  than  the  case  of  a  mother,  for 
the  difficulty  is  multiplied  by  a  multiplica- 
tion of  persons  —  we  allude  to  the  sisters 
of  your  husband.  It  may  so  happen  that 
death  has  deprived  him  of  the  affectionate 
pai'ent  we  have  alluded  to,  and  in  this  case 
the  probability  is,  if  he  have  any  sisters, 
that  they  will  reside  with  him  under  the 
same  roof,  and  will  have  exercised  the 
authority  of  his  mother  in  the  management 
of  domestic  matters.  In  this  case  you  will 
have  a  more  difficult  course  to  pursue; 
first,  because  a  sister  cannot  feel  that  affec- 


22  THE   WEDDING   GIFT. 

tion  and  interest  in  the  object  of  your 
choice  which  a  mothei-  does ;  and  second, 
being  young,  and  not  having  had  that 
intercourse  with  the  world  which  persons 
of  more  mature  years  have,  they  will  he 
subject  to  prejudices  which  will  be  seriously 
calculated  to  mar  your  happiness.  In  all 
these  trying  cases  you  must  act  -with  firm- 
ness, with  kindness,  and  Avith  patience. 
The  making  of  a  rash  and  hasty  inroad 
upon  the  preexisting  arrangements  of  the 
household,  must  excite  jealousy  and  ill 
feelings.  You  should  endeavor  to  be 
guided  by  the  standard  of  your  own  feel- 
ings, and  a  stiict  adherence  to  this  rule 
will  put  you  in  a  tolerably  sure  path.  A 
sensible  woman  "svill  always  know  what  she 
would  wish  and  expect  to  meet  under  such 
circumstance?*,  and  any  palpable  deviation 
from  such  a  standard  she  may  justly 
consider  as  an  infringement  of  her  preroga- 
tive as  a  wife. 


THE   WEDDING    GIFT.  23 

PKOPER   COURSE    FOR   THE    HUSBAND. 

In  the  case  of  jour   husband's    home 
having  been  managed  by  a  maiden  sister,  or  I 
by  several,  it  would  be  the  more  delicate  and  j 
agreeable  mode  on  your  marriage,  for  him  j 
at  once  to  assign  to  you,  in  their  presence,  I 
the  absolute  control  of  his  household,  and  I 
to  communicate  to  you  a  proper  line  of  j 
conduct    as    the  fulfilment  of   his  wishes. 
Such  a  plan  would  at  once  remove  all 
unpleasantness  as  far  as  you  are  concerned, 
and  should  such  a  line  of  conduct  not  sug- 
gest itself  to  him,  it  will  not  be  amiss, 
should  you  be  placed  in  the  case  of  necessity 
to  propose  such  a  com-se  for  his  adoption. 

In  all  these  straits  and  difficulties,  how- 
ever, as  in  all  the  transactions  of  life  — 
good  sense  and  good  temper  will  effect 
wonders. 

HUSBAND      AND      WIFE     INDEPENDENT 
BEINGS. 

In  closing  our  remarks  on  this  head,  we 
would  observe,  that  a  man   and  woman 


24  THE   AVEDDING   GIFT. 

having  entered  into  the  holy  state  of  wed- 
lock, immediately  become  independent 
beings  ;  the  control  of  the  parents  on  either 
side  ceases,  and  no  other  person  has  or 
ought  to  have  any  influence  whatever  over 
either  husband  or  wife.  In  using  the  term 
influence,  however,  Ave  would  not  be 
understood  to  mean,  that  the  affectionate 
advice  of  parents,  Avhose  experience  is  fre- 
quently invaluable,  should  be  disregarded 
in  matters  where  experience  alone  can  be 
of  service.  By  influence  we  mean  the  re- 
sult of  that  meddling  interference  which 
ofl[icious  relatives  Avill  sometimes  practise, 
and  thereby  set  the  husband  and  wife 
together  by  the  eai-s,  as  it  is  commonly 
termed.  Should  it  ever  be  the  case  that  a 
slight  ruffle  of  the  temper  takes  place  be- 
tween you  (which  God  forbid),  be  assured 
that  inteiference  on  the  part  of  relatives  is 
most  injudirious,  and  cannot,  by  any  possi- 
bility, do  good. 


THE   WEDDING   GIFT.  25 


KEEP   YOUR    OWN    SECRETS. 

Should  a  passing  cloud  overshadow 
the  sunsHne  of  your  happiness,  confine 
the  fact  within  your  own  bosom,  and 
within  your  own  home,  tUl  it  is  dissipated 
by  the  return  of  reason.  Any  enlarge- 
ment upon  it  to  relatives  or  friends  will 
tend  to  foment  it ;  and  you  will  be  equally 
degraded  in  their  eyes,  as  you  must  ulti- 
mately in  your  own,  for  having  made 
the  circumstances  public.  Should  the  fact 
of  your  having  sought  the  advice  of  your 
friends  become  known  to  your  husband, 
that  mutual  trust  Avhich  must  exist  betweeu 
you  to  render  the  mamed  state  a  happy 
one,  will  be  forever  destroyed.  Consider 
well,  therefore,  before  you  impart  to  a  third 
pai'ty  any  disagreements  that  may  take 
place  in  your  home.  Be  rather  solicitous 
to  screen  them  from  obsers-ation.  The 
human  heart  is  not  generally  hard,  unless 
it  is  made  so ;  beware,  then,  of  tampering 
with  it.    It  mav  be  that  there  is  much  to 


26  THE   WEDDING   GIFT, 

blame  on  your  own  part,  though  you  can- 
not see  it  (for  self-knowledge  is  in  all  cases 
most  rare) ;  and  in  the  case  of  your  friends 
deciding  against  you  in  any  appeal  which 
you  may  make  to  them,  how  painful  and 
humiliating  A\ill  be  your  feelings  ! 

TELL  KOT   TOUR     GRIEFS    TO   THE   OPPO- 
SITE   SEX. 

One  last  remark  we  will  make  in  con- 
cluding this  chapter,  to  which  too  much 
attention  cannot  be  paid.  Should  it  un- 
fortunately be  the  case  that  extreme  in-ita- 
tion  of  feelings  drives  you  to  impart  your 
"  griefs  "  to  a  third  party,  let  not  that  third 
party  be  one  of  the  opposite  sex ;  as  the 
penalty  of  forfeiting  the  whole  sum  of 
your  future  happiness  must  be  the  issue  of 
such  a  proceeding.  A  mutual  friend  —  one 
whom  you  may  each  of  you  respect,  may 
chance  to  call  in  when  the  warmth  of  feel- 
ing is  upon  you,  and  in  the  absence  of 
your  husband  you  may  be  led  to  ask  his 


THE    WEDDING   GIFT.  27 

advice,  —  an  act  which  in  cooler  moments, 
your  native  modesty  would  recoil  at.  In 
taking  this  step  you  bestow  on  the  person 
a  confidence  which  no  male  person  but 
your  husband  should  possess  under  any 
circumstances,  and  should  he  be  chaste  as 
Joseph,  he  will  consider  that  you  are 
throwing  yourself  upon  his  protection,  and 
the  misery  that  will  ensue  will  be  of  the 
most  terrific  description. 

It  may  be  observed,  in  conclusion,  that  it 
is  injudicious  to  seek  advice  under  any 
circumstances  we  have  enumerated.  The 
appealing  to  others  shows  a  weakness  of 
character  which  will  assm-edly  be  imposed 
on.  A  proper  dependence  on  self  is,  thei-e- 
fore,  the  only  point  on  which  to  rely,  and 
from  which  any  permanent  satisfaction  can 
be  derived. 


28  THE    WEDDING    GIFT. 


CHAPTER    III. 


ox   THE    IMPORTANCE   OF   DRESS. 

In  the  days  of  youth,  when  the  heart  of 
woman  yearns  for  an  object  on  which  to 
place  its  tenderest  affections,  who  has  not 
observed  her  solicitude  to  present  her 
charms  to  the  eye  of  man  in  the  most  at- 
tractive form  ?  How  studiously  does  she 
then  consider  the  most  becoming  colors  in 
which  to  dress,  and  how  anxious  is  she 
tliat  the  contour  of  her  person  should  be  set 
forth  in  the  most  becoming  way.  It  is  by 
this  combined  Avitchery  that  the  eye  of  man 
is  caught  —  it  is  by  this  influence  that  his 
heart  becomes  her  possession  —  it  is  this 
judicious  union  of  a  graceful  person  with 
tasteful  dress,  that  impresses  her  image 
upon  his  imagination,  to  be  borne  about 


THE    WEDDING    GIFT.  29 

in  his  daily  occupation,  and  to  lead  him 
home  with  talismanic  efiect  when  the  toils 
of  the  day  are  over. 

PERSONAL   APPEARANCE. 

Mmj  women  too  often  seem  to  think, 
that  the  marriage  ceremony  having  heen 
completed,  there  is  no  further  need  for  that 
becoming  adherence  to  the  proprieties  of 
dress,  which  have  been  in  some  degree  a 
caiise  of  attraction.  They  fancy  that  they 
are  then  only  married  women,  and  by  their 
negligence  in  their  dress,  openly  confess 
that  the  art  of  love  has  been  but  an  artifice, 
and  their  husbands  the  dupes.  The  grace- 
fully arranged  hair,  or  tasteful  cap  is  sup- 
planted till  mid-day  by  the  night-cap  — 
the  smart  and  cleanly  moniing  dress, 
surmounted  by  a  neat  lace  collar,  is  ex- 
changed for  the  dishabille  —  the  showy 
boot  or  shoe,  and  snow  white  stocking, 
gives  place  to  the  slovenly  slipper ;  and 
finally,  oh  sad  catastrophe,  the  ardent  lover 


30  THE   WEDDING   GIFT. 

becomes  the  negligent  husband  —  the  com- 
fortable home,  a  desert. 

EVILS   OF   SLOVENLINESS. 

A  woman  wlio  is  wise  should  commune 
Avith  herself  deeply  on  this  head.  The 
effort  which  was  an  act  of  inclination  before 
her  marriage,  she  should  consider  as  a  point 
of  duty  afterwards  ;  nor  should  inattention 
to  any  thing  agreeable  to  her  husband  give 
rise  to  the  mortifying  suspicion  that  the 
desire  to  please  him  is  not  so  impelling  a 
principle  of  action  as  he  had  supposed  it 
might  always  be.  Few  husbands  are  indif- 
ferent to  the  personal  appearance  of  their 
wives  ;  and  still  fewer  there  are  who  do  not 
regard  negligence  in  dress  with  even  more 
disgust  than  perhaps  it  deserves  ;  though 
when  it  aiTives  at  its  most  aggravated  state 
of  slovenliness  and  Avant  of  cleanliness,  it 
becomes  a  vice,  and  can  scarcely  be  too 
much  condemned.  When  this  is  percepti- 
ble in  a  wife,  it  requires  no  witchcraft  to 


THE    WEDDIXG    GIFT.  31 

foretell  the  approach  of  disorder  in  her 
family,  and  the  loss  of  the  esteem  of  her 
husband. 

Fatal,  however,  as  this  negligence  may 
be  to  the  peace  and  welfare  of  the  husband 
and  wife,  its  baneful  influence  does  not 
always  terminate  here ;  there  may  be 
children,  there  may  be  servants  ;  —  a  neg- 
ligent mother  must  have  negligent  children  ; 
a  negligent  mistress  must  have  negligent 
servants.  This  self-abandonment  to  negli- 
gence must  influence  the  whole  domestic 
circle,  and  must  in  the  end  affect  not  only 
the  comfort,  but  the  prosperity  of  the  hus- 
band. The  progress  of  ruin  in  such  ca«es 
though  slow,  is  certain  ;  and  like  the  fatal 
passion  of  gambling,  spreads  its  desolation 
when  hope  has  fled. 

A   CORRECT    TASTE. 

Now,  fair  reader,  there  is  a  possibility 
that  you  have  concluded  that  this  chapter 
has  been  written  by  some  Lothario,  who 


32  THE    AVEDDING    GIFT. 

would  have  a  wife  devote  her  whole  atten- 
tion to  the  toilet,  for  the  gratification  of  a 
fastidious  and  whimsical  husband  —  and 
tliat  it  is  intended  you  shall  lay  aside  all  re- 
gard for  economy,  industry,  and  household 
matters,  to  make  yourself  a  mere  puppet 
to  please  his  eye.  Far  different,  however, 
is  the  case.  The  suggestion  here  given  is 
that  a  degree  of  taste  should  be  observed 
by  you  in  your  attire,  from  motives  of 
policy,  and  also  from  motives  of  economy 
Dress,  it  is  true,  may  be  considered  as  the 
criterion  of  a  w^oman's  taste.  A  moment's 
survey  decides  the  question  whether  it  be 
good  or  bad.  If  your  husband  perceives 
that  fashion  has  not  been  servilely  or  im- 
plicitly followed,  that  peculiarity  has  been 
avoided,  and  simplicity  preferred  to  splen- 
dor, the  opinion  he  forms  must  be  in  favor 
of  your  taste  ;  and  the  supposition  will  fol- 
low that  the  good  sense  which  directs  your 
choice  of  attire,  will  have  its  influence  over 
every  thing  of  which  you  have  the  direction 
and  control. 


THE    WEDDING    GIFT.  33 


CHAPTER    IV. 


THE   YOUNG   MOTHER. 

There  is  a  deep  moral  connected  with 
the  joyful  tidings  that  a  child  is  born  into 
the  world.  And  joyful  let  us  call  these 
tidings,  notwithstanding  all  that  a  morbid 
and  miserable  philosophy  would  teach 
about  another  human  creature  being  sent 
into  this  world  to  sin  and  suffer  like  the 
rest.  Yes,  "  joyful  "  let  us  call  it,  for  the 
beneficent  Creator  himself  has  designed 
that  there  should  be  joy ;  and  nature  attests 
that  there  is  joy  connected  with  this  event, 
while  the  fond  heart  of  the  mother  ac- 
knowledges in  the  smiles  of  her  infant 
an  overpayment  of  delight  for  all  her 
solicitudes,  her  anxieties,  and  her  fears, 
3 


34  THE    AVEDDIXG    GIFT, 

JOY   OF   THE   YOUNG    MOTHER. 

And  why  should  not  the  mother  rejoice  ? 
Has  she  not  become  the  possessor  of  a  new 
nature,  to  whose  support  she  can  devote  all 
the  vast  resources  of  her  self-love  without 
selfishness  ?  She  has  now  an  object  pe- 
culiarly her  own,  for  which  to  think  and  to 
feel  —  and  not  less,  for  which  to  suffer. 

It  is  with  joy,  that  a  new  being  is  ushered 
into  the  world,  to  share  its  portion  amongst 
the  many  in  the  mingled  lot  of  human  Aveal 
and  Avoe  —  to  enter  upon  a  career  in  which 
it  is  but  reasonable  to  indulge  the  hope  of 
filling  an  honored  place  on  the  great  theatre 
of  life  —  of  contributing  its  share  to  the 
sum  of  human  happiness,  and  for  enjoying 
in  its  turn  the  full  exercise  of  all  those 
faculties  of  mind  and  body  AAith  which  so 
much  happiness  is  connected. 

THE  YOUKG  MOTHER'S  TRUST. 

Why  should  not  a  mother  rejoice  ?  Have 
we  so  learned  the  doctrine  of  our  Lord  and 


THE    WEDDING    GIFT.  35 

Savior,  that  we  cannot  trust  to  him  the 
keeping  of  our  earthly  treasure  1  Surely 
there  is  infidelity  of  the  most  ungrateful 
kind  in  that  spirit  which  believes,  and  yet 
knows  not  how  to  tnist.  But  there  is  both 
hope  and  trust  in  the  mother's  breast  at 
that  glad  moment  when  she  folds  her  infant  j 
to  her  bosom ;  for  though  she  may  herself 
have  failed  in  judgment;  and  in  will,  ten 
thousand  times,  and  fallen  short  in  acts  of 
duty  almost  beyond  the  hope  of  pardon, 
she  looks  into  the  guileless  countenance  of 
her  child :  and  while  tears  of  true  repent- 
ance fall  on  its  brow,  she  dedicates  its  young 
life,  wdth  all  its  growing  energies,  to  a 
holier  and  more  faithful  service  than  she, 
with  her  weakness  and  way^vardness,  has 
been  able  to  pursue. 

THE   YOUNG   MOTHER'S   KEFLECTIONS. 

Granting,  then,  that  there  is  joy  in  the 
event  of  a  child  being  ushered  into  life,  and 
that  such  joy  is  founded  chiefly  upon  a 


36  THE   AVEDDIXG    GIFT. 

kind  of  indefinite  hope  Avhich  fills  the 
mother's  breast ;  granting,  also,  as  one  of 
om-  first  poets  has  beiiutifully  said,  that 

"  The  food  of  hope 

Is  meditated  action," 

the  most  natural  inqtiiry,  nay  that  which 
must  necessarily  follow  in  the  mind  of  a 
rational  woman,  is,  —  for  what  shall  I 
prepare  my  child  ? 

Pending  the  solution  of  this  most  impor- 
tant question,  it  is  more  than  probable  that 
the  mother's  thoughts  will  go  back  to  her 
own  childhood.  By  the  many  retrospective 
glances  she  has  thrown  back  in  the  course 
of  her  own  life,  she  will  no  doubt  have  been 
able  to  perceive  many  defects  in  the  man- 
agement and  training  by  which  she  herself 
was  conducted  from  infancy  to  youth ;  and 
now,  if  ever,  she  looks  seriously  upon  this 
picture  with  a  fervent  desire  to  ascertain 
the  truth,  to  make  out  a  faithful  chart  of 
the  rocks  and  shoals  upon  which  her  own 
bark,  may  at  different  times,  have  nearly 


THE   WEDDING   GIFT.  37 

suffered  shipwreck,  as  well  as  the  safe  chan- 
nels through  which  she  has  at  other  times 
been  enabled  to  pass  unharmed. 

There  are  quiet  hours  permitted  to  al- 
most all  before  a  mother  enters  again  upon 
the  active  duties  of  life,  during  which  this 
peculiar  kind  of  retrospection  might,  and 
no  doubt  Is,  carried  on  with  lasting  benefit 
to  herself  and  her  family. 

SELF-EXAMINATION  —  RESPONSIBILITY. 

But  what  is  the  young  mother  to  do  who 
has  never  cultivated  the  habit  of  serious 
thought,  and  still  less  that  of  self-exami- 
nation 1  By  such,  there  is  but  one  thing 
to  be  done,  to  begin  to  cultivate  the^e  habits 
now.  Hitherto  she  may  have  believed  that 
she  was  acting  only  for  herself,  and  there- 
fore willing,  to  a  certain  extent,  to  reap  the 
consequences  of  her  own  actions  ;  but  now 
the  consequences  are  strictly  to  another, 
and  that  other  being  almost  deai-er  than 
herself     Upon  her  parents,  her  relatives. 


38  THE   WEDDING   GIFT. 

nay,  even  upon  her  husband,  she  may  have 
secretly  thro-wTi  the  blame  of  many  of  her 
faults  and  deficiencies;  but  there  can  no 
blame  be  thrown  upon  another  here.  The 
field  is  open  before  her  in  which  she  is  to 
act  —  the  page  is  clear  and  vacant  upon 
which  she  has  to  \M-ite  ;  whatever  is  Amtten 
there  in  the  capacity  of  a  mother,  is  Aviitten 
on  her  own  responsibility ;  whatever  is 
done,  is  done  for  time  and  for  eternity. 

There  are  cases  occuring  to  all  of  us  in 
which  we  do  not  take  the  trouble  to  decide 
whether  we  are  right  or  wrong,  simply 
because  we  deem  the  occasion  of  too  little 
consequence  to  merit  any  seiious  thought  5 
or  at  all  events,  even  while  we  feel  we  are 
a  little  wrong,  we  satisfy  the  claims  of  con- 
science by  the  plea  that  it  is  our  custom,  our 
habit,  or  a  thing  we  must  do  because  we 
have  always  done  it.  But  in  the  training 
of  a  child  this  plea  can  never  be  allowed, 
because  every  thing  is  of  consequence  then, 
and  the  sins  of  omission  in  that  most  trying 


THE   WEDDING   GIFT. 


process  tell  as  legibly  upon  the  character 
under  formation,  as  those  that  are  more 
positive  and  direct,  the  mind  of  the  child 
being  less  matured. 

From  the  duties  of  a  mother  there  is  then 
no  escape ;  and  hence  it  follows,  that  if  ever 
in  the  whole  of  a  woman's  life  she  is  called 
to  think  seriously,  it  is  when  she  first  be- 
comes a  parent. 

THE    CHEISTIAN   MOTHEE. 

To  persons  of  candid  minds,  but  chiefly 
to  those  who  feel  their  own  deficiency,  and 
would  be  glad  to  profit  by  the  experience 
and  observation  of  others,  I  would  in  the 
true  spirit  of  charity  submit  these  pages, 
because  it  is  to  such  I  believe  that  the  first 
experience  of  a  mother's  life  will  have 
many  anxious  feelings  mingled  with  its 
joys.  It  is  among  this  class  especially 
that  I  have  imagined  the  first  thoughts  of 
a  mother  to  Avander  back  to  her  o^^•n  child- 
hood, and  to  take  a  serious  and  impartial 


40  THE    WEDDING    GIFT. 

survey  of  her  o^vii  past  life ;  to  mark  where 
she  has  fallen  short  or  gone  astray,  by  what 
temptations  she  has  been  most  frequently 
overcome,  and  which  have  been  the  weak- 
est points  in  her  character.  But  above  all, 
I  have  imagined  that  the  Christian  mother 
would  by  pray6r  and  heai-tfclt  dedication, 
commend  her  child  to  the  cai-e  and  guid- 
ance of  its  Heavenly  Father,  in  the  hope 
that  both  it  and  its  earthly  parents  might 
begin  a  new  life  more  strictly  devoted  to 
his  service  and  glory.  It  is  by  no  means 
an  unfrequent  case,  that  as  young  people 
grow  up,  and  find  themselves  either  not 
so  good  or  not  so  clever  as  they  expected 
and  wished  to  be,  they  reflect  either  secretly  or 
operdy  upon  the  management  of  their  parents, 
who,  they  believe,  might  have  made  them 
better  than  they  are.  It  is  quite  possible, 
too,  that  their  pai'cnts  might  have  been  in 
fault,  and  they  from  their  o^vn  disciimina- 
tion,  or  from  the  general  advance  of  society 
towai'ds  a  more  enlightened  state,  do  ac- 


THE   WEDDING    GIFT.  41 

tually  see  the  defects  of  tlieir  over-straining, 
as  those  defects  begin  to  tell  upon  their 
o\vn  characters  and  conduct  in  riper  years. 
All  who  have  been  led  to  think  seriously  on 
this  subject  have  probably  felt  this,  but  it  is 
not  all  who  have  an  opportunity  of  show- 
ing how  such  defects  may  be  remedied  by 
training  up  others  in  a  happier  and  wiser 
manner. 

Again,  we  are  all  more  or  less  beguiled 
into  a  belief  that  it  is  too  late  to  make  any 
serious  alteration  in  the  habits  which  mark 
our  private  lives.  Indeed,  the  fact  that 
they  are  habits  seems  to  stamp  them  to 
ourselves  with  a  kind  of  excusability, 
though  we  lament  over  them  in  tones  of 
contrition  before  our  friends,  and  even  be- 
lieve in  our  sincerity  when  w'e  pray  to  be 
forgiven.  But  if  w^e  can  thus  excuse  our- 
selves in  a  few  secretly  cherished  faults, 
and  if  M'e  are  sometimes  content  to  pui'sue 
our  earthly  pilgrimage  under  the  pres- 
sure of  the  bm-den  of  which  we  still  com- 


42  THE   WEBDING    GIFT. 


plain,  sui-ely  the  mother,  in  contemplating 
the  future  character  of  her  child,  will  not 
alloAV  herself  to  suppose  that  the  same 
plea  will  be  available  here. 

No,  neither  ignorance  nor  habit,  those 
too  strong  holds  of  the  human  soul,  under 
which  it  so  often  takes  refuge,  fondly  be- 
lieving that  they  Avill  cover  .a  multitude  of 
sins  —  neither  the  one  nor  the  other  will 
serve  the  mother's  purpose  now.  What  she 
has  condemned  in  the  management  of  the  par- 
ent^ she  is  hound  the  more  scrupulously  to  avoid 
in  her  own ;  what  she  fancies  she  has  grown 
too  old  to  coiTect  in  herself;  she  has  no 
excuse  for  not  preventing  in  her  cliild. 

A  mother's  vigilance. 

It  is  common,  too,  with  motliers  of  the 
humblest  capacity,  as  well  as  with  the  more 
enlightened,  to  observe  with  the  most 
scrutinizing  attention,  the  bodUy  health  of 
their  children,  believing  that  where  no  dis- 
ease exists  there  may  still  be  tendencies  in 


1 

THE   WEDDIXG   GIFT.  43 

the  constitution,  and  liabilities  to  certain 
ailments  which  maternal  love  is  ever  quick 
to  detect  in  their  first  appearance,  and 
which  the  mother  seldom  spares  time  or 
pains  to  arrest  in  their  progress. 

In  a  manner  not  less  certain,  though  less 
paJpable,  does  the  human  mind  bring  along 
with  it  seeds  of  disease,  individual  tenden- 
cies and  peculiarities,  certainly  not  less  im- 
portant than  those  which  belong  more  es- 
pecially to  the  bodily  frame.    AJl  these  it 
ought  to  be  the  care  of  the  mother  to  search  ; 
for,  to  detect,  and  to  turn  into  a  healthy  j 
course;  for,  as  in  her  care  of  the  animal  : 
frame,  it  is  for  the  future  she  watches  and  - 
toils,  in  order  that  her  offspring  may  be  i 
healthy,   active,  and  fit  for  all  the  useful  | 
purposes  of  Life ;  so  it  is  for  the  future,  and  ; 
for  one  which  extends  far  beyond  what  the 
body  needs  be  prepai-ed  for,  that  she  has  to 
cultivate  the  mind,  the  immortal  part  of  her  | 
chUd,   and  render  it  equal  to  a  state  of  \ 
beatitude .  i 


44  THE    AVEDDING    GIFT. 


PHYSICAL   AND   MORAL   TILVINING. 

It  is  not  for  any  of  the  pui-poses  of  to-day, 
or  even  of  the  comhig  to-mon-ow,  that  the 
child  is  practised  in  tlie  art  of  placing  one 
foot  before  the  other,  as  in  the  act  of  walk- 
ing. It  is  not  for  to-day  that  the  child  is 
encoiu-aged  to  use  its  muscles,  to  grasp  and 
to  appropriate  whatever  is  Avithin  its  reach, 
or  at  least  whatever  may  be  laid  hold  of 
without  injury.  If  the  present  time  were 
all  we  had  to  consider,  most  assuredly  the 
less  grasping  and  the  less  appropriation, 
the  more  easy  and  pleasant  would  be  the 
office  of  nurse.  Instead,  however,  of  con- 
sulting her  own  case,  the  mother  devotes 
herself  \^^tll  unremitting  assiduity  to  the 
cultivation  of  the  bodUy  faculties  of  her  in- 
fant, so  tliat  none  of  its  organic  functions 
may  suffer  from  the  want  of  exercise.  If 
she  discovers  the  slightest  tendency  to  the 
contraction  of  a  muscle,  or  the  distortion 
of  a  limb,  her  whole  being  is  absorbed  by 


THE   WEDDING    GIFT.  45 

apprehensions  of  the  most  distressing  kind ; 
and  all  her  energies  are  directed  to  the 
means  of  averting  the  evils  she  anticipates 
for  the  future.  Is  it  thus,  I  would  ask,  on 
the  first  discovery  of  a  tendency  to  impa- 
tience, to  contradiction,  or  to  revenge  'i  It 
is  probable  that  every  positive  exhibition 
of  those  wrong  tendencies  is  proportioned 
to  the  good  or  evil  temper  of  the  nurse ;  but 
as  to  the  philosophy  of  sevei'e  punishments, 
as  well  might  a  crooked  limb  be  forcibly 
set  straight  every  time  it  was  seen  out  of 
place,  as  a  perverse  child  be  simply  pun- 
ished every  time  it  is  ^vi-ong. 

There  is  no  woman  blind  enough  to  sup- 
pose mere  momentary  coiTection  mil  be  of 
any  lasting  use  ;  and  why  then  should  the 
mind,  or  in  other  words,  the  moral  charac- 
ter, be  treated  with  less  reasoning  and  less 
calculation  than  its  animal  frame. 


46  THE   WEDDING    GIFT. 


WOMAN  S    RESPONSIBILITY. 

Whence  caii  have  arisen  that  most  ab- 
surd and  hifatuated  notion,  that  a  woman 
while  young  and  unmamed  may  cultivate 
her  mind  and  im^Drove  her  character  to  any 
extent ;  but  that  as  a  Avife  she  has  no  need 
to  advance  any  faa-ther,  and  as  a  mother 
she  will  do  very  well  if  she  can  but  superin- 
tend the  dressing  and  undressing  of  a  baby. 
If,  as  regards  the  female  sex,  there  should 
have  been  ground  for  the  establishment  of 
so  eiToneous  a  belief,  one  would  suppose 
that  the  simple  fact  of  mothers  having  tlie 
training  of  boys  as  well  as  girls  committed 
to  their  care,  might  sonietimes  startle  them 
into  a  consciousness  of  the  vast  amount  of 
responsibility  resting  upon  them.  The 
single  thought  so  alanuing  in  its  spirit- 
stiiTing  interests,  that  all  the  statesmen  of 
the  rising  generation,  all  the  ministers  of 
religion,  as  well  as  all  men  whatever  be 
their  station  in  the  world,  will  have  received 


THE   WEDDING    GIFT.  47 

as  regards  their  moral  and  intellectual  char- 
acters, their  first  bias,  and  often  their 
strongest  and  their  last,  from  the  training 
and  the  influence  of  a  mother,  is  a  con- 
sideration that  cannot  be  too  deeply  im- 
pressed upon  the  mind  of  the  young,  more 
especially  those  who  have  it  in  their  power 
to  profit  by  such  thoughts. 


48  THE   WEDDING   GIFT. 


CHAPTER    V 


THE   ONE    THING   NEEDFUL. 

There  is  one  thing  without  which  no 
person  maiTied  or  single  can  really  pros- 
per ;  to  which  we  shall  devote  a  chapter ; 
and  to  which  let  us  hope  an  adequate  share 
of  attention  will  be  paid  —  we  mean  the 
strict  observance  of  our  daily  duty  to  that 
Supreme  Being  to  whom  we  owe  our  ex- 
istence and  from  whom  all  our  happiness 
is  derived. 

If  it  has  been  a  regular  practice  before 
your  marriage,  it  is  not  likely  that  you  \vill 
be  willing  to  abandon  it  at  a  tinie  when 
your  position  has  become  more  important, 
and  your  example  more  influential  over 
society  at  large. 


THE   WEDDING    GIFT.  49 


FAMILY   WORSHIP. 

It  may  happen  that  the  obsen-ance  of 
family  "worship  has  not  been  practised  in 
the  family  of  your  husband,  and  in  this 
case  it  will  require  a  degree  of  caution 
which  you,  as  a  religious  vnfe  will  well 
know  how  to  use.  It  unfortunately  hap- 
pens that  Religion,  which  should  be  an 
honored  and  welcome  guest  in  every  house, 
is  too  generally  under  the  necessity  of  being 
introduced  by  stealth  at  a  side  entrance, 
and  endured  as  an  intruder,  rather  than 
cherished  as  a  loved  friend.  But  tnie  piety 
is  a  principle  which  leads  us  to  honor  God 
in  every  thing.  It  wiU  have  an  influence 
upon  us  at  home  and  abroad,  in  society  and 
in  solitude,  upon  common,  as  well  as  ex- 
traordinary occasions. 

It  is  this  principle  Avhich  leads  a  Christian 

to  exercise  a  religious  care  over  his  family ; 

and  in  this  part  of  his  conduct  he  shows 

not  only  the  devout  state  of  his  affections 

4 


50  THE    WEDDING    GIFT. 

but  likewise  the  soundness  of  his  judgment 
Every  wise  man  sees  the  necessity  of  ha'sdng 
some  plan  of  domestic  government,  in 
order  to  preserve  his  house  from  being  a 
scene  of  confusion  and  misery.  And  by 
what  expedient  can  a  Chiistian  better  ac- 
complish this  pui-pose  than  by  contriWng 
that  every  member  of  his  family  may  feel 
the  force  of  those  principles  by  which  he 
himself  is  made  happy. 

In  contemplating  the  head  of  a  family 
thus  devoted,  how  forcibly  does  the  com- 
mendation given  to  Abraham  appear  to  us. 
"I  know  him  that  he  will  command  his 
children,  and  his  household  after  him  to  do 
justice  and  judgment."  And  how  reason- 
able a  thing  is  it,  that  God  should  be 
honored  in  that  community  wliich  derives 
all  its  comfort  from  him.  In  a  family  there 
are  mercies  received  from  God,  of  which  all 
the  members  are  equal  pai'takers.  How  tit 
and  becoming  a  thing  is  it,  then,  that  all 
the  members  should  join  in  acts  of  devout 


THE   "WEDDING    GIFT.  51 


homage  to  their  common   Protector  and 
Benefactor. 

BENEFITS    OF   FAMILY   WORSHIP. 

The  assembling  eveiy  day  for  this  purpose 
is  calculated  to  produce  the  happiest  effects 
on  the  minds  and  conduct  of  our  children 
and  domestics.  To  recall  the  attention  of 
a  family  frequently  to  the  Supreme  Being 
tends  to  impress  the  members  of  it  with  an 
idea  of  his  authority,  and  of  their  depend- 
ence upon  his  providence.  It  holds  forth 
religion  to  them  as  a  duty,  not  only  of  oc- 
casional, but  of  daily  obligation.  The  con- 
stant reading  of  the  Holy  Scriptures,  the 
frequent  imploring  forgi\Tiess  of  sin,  and 
petitioning  for  grace  to  act  right  towards 
God  and  man,  imperceptibly  convey  into 
their  minds  a  knowledge  of  the  duties 
which  they  owe  to  God,  to  themselves,  and 
to  each  other. 

"We  find  in  families  where  religious 
order  prevails,  that  there  a  knowledge  of 


THE    AVEDDlKCr    GIFT. 


right  and  wi-oiig  also  prevails ;  and  al- 
though evil  passions  occasionally  discover 
themselves,  we  do  not  see  unrestroined  vio- 
lence ;  the  good  effects  of  daily  instniction 
and  daily  worship  are  manifest  in  the  tem- 
pers and  conduct  of  the  various  members 
of  our  households,  amid  all  their  imperfec- 
tions. On  the  other  hand,  in  those  houses 
in  which  religious  instruction  is  never 
heai-d,  nor  any  act  of  devotion  seen,  we 
observe  a  deplorable  ignorance  of  moral 
obligation.  How  unlikely  is  it  that  there 
should  be  a  steady  obedience  rendered  to 
man,  where  the  fear  of  God  is  not  taught 
either  by  precept  or  example.  If  therefore, 
we  consult  merely  our  own  comfort,  the 
best  course  we  can  pursue  is  to  tread  in  the 
steps  of  those  Godly  men  whose  houses 
were  consecrated  by  the  daily  performance 
of  family  worship. 


THE    -NVEDDIXG    GIFT.  53 


HOME    IXFLUENCES. 

Families  are  the  nurseries  of  the  State. 
Pai-ents,  magistrates,  senators  and  ministers 
of  religion,  were  once  children  in  a  family ; 
and  have  probably  brought  with  them  into 
their  important  stations  a  strong  tincture 
of  the  habits  which  prevailed  in  the  home 
of  their  infancy.  We  retain  the  impres- 
sions which  we  receive  in  early  life :  and  if 
they  be  not  favorable  to  virtue,  their  cor- 
i-upt  influence  may  be  traced  in  the  actions 
of  a  riper  period.  Licentious  children  be- 
come ungovernable  men.  From  not  being 
habituated  when  childi-en  to  reverence 
God  and  eteraal  things,  men  are  frequently 
found  to  gi'owup  Avith  a  heathenish  insensi- 
bility in  matters  of  religion ;  an  insensi- 
bility which  they  discover  amidst  all  the 
qualifications  they  have  derived  from  a  po- 
lite and  liberal  education.  When  to  such 
persons  a  moral  tnist  is  committed,  it  is 
easy  to  conjecture  how  it  Avill  be  executed. 


54  THE    AVKDDING    GIFT. 

Those  who  have  truly  christian  minds 
feel  a  benevolent  concern  for  the  interests 
of  society,  and  will  have  a  regard  to  this  in 
the  management  of  those  committed  to 
their  care.  They  will  make  it  their  busi- 
ness to  send  them  forth  to  the  world  well 
principled,  that  when  they  are  added  to  the 
mass  of  the  people  they  may  communicate 
to  it  a  correcting  influence  which  may  tend 
to  diminish  and  not  to  increase  the  too 
great  quantity  of  evil  which  pervades  it. 

Children  and  servants  are  influenced  by 
what  is  always  addressing  itself  to  them. 
They  judge  of  things  not  from  what  one 
man  says  one  day  of  the  week,  but  ft'om 
what  every  person  is  saying  every  day. 
The  customs  and  liahits  of  a  family  are  the 
things  which  form  their  opinions  and  their 
character  ;  and  if  among  these  there  be  no 
act  which  is  intended  to  do  honor  to  re- 
ligion, there  is  not  only  nothing  done  to 
carry  on  the  design  of  the  public  religious 
instruction  of  the  Sabbath,  but  many  things 
which  will  defeat  that  design. 


THE    AVEDDIXG    GIFT.  55 


REASONABLENESS     AND     MORAL     BEAUTY 
OF   FAMILY   WORSHIP. 

The  importance  of  family  worship  is  fre- 
quently overruled  by  the  ridicule  which  the 
wicked  and  licentious  choose  to  cast  upon 
it.  But  is  it  becoming  a  man  of  sense  and 
seriousness  to  suffer  himself  to  be  stopped 
in  what  he  believes  will  contribute  to  the 
honor  due  to  God,  to  the  improvement  and 
happiness  of  his  children  and  servants,  and 
to  the  benefit  of  society,  by  some  thought- 
less observer  who  never  sat  dowm  seriously 
to  consider  what  he  chooses  to  ridicule. 

The  most  solemn  and  approved  things 
may  be  made  sport  of  by  some  ;  but  let  us' 
consider  how  they  are  regarded  by  others. 
Is  it  not  a  beautiful  sight  to  see  a  pious 
man  collect  his  household  around  him  — 
open  his  Bible — read  distinctly  and  rev- 
erently a  portion  of  that  holy  book,  and 
then  kneeling  down  with  them,  thankfidly 
acknowledge  the  blessings  which  he  and  his 


56  THE   AYEDDIXG    GIFT. 

fixmily  have  received,  and  humbly  implore 
the  continuance  of  the  divine  mercy.  This, 
however  it  may  be  misrepresented  by 
thoughtless  men,  is  without  doubt  in  the 
sight  of  God  a  dignified  spectacle,  and  of 
most  salutary  effect. 

MODE    OF   FAMILY    W^ORSHIP. 

A  few  hints  as  to  the  mode  of  practising 
family  worship  may  here  not  be  out  of 
place. 

In  the  first  place  then,  let  the  master  of 
a  house  remember  that  the  more  pleasantly 
family  worship  is  conducted,  the  better  it 
will  be  for  the  interests  of  religion;  pro- 
vided however  that  we  do  not  in  endeavor- 
ing to  render  it  agreeable,  let  it  sink  to  the 
level  of  an  unmeaning  _  qbservanee.  To 
prevent  Avcariness,  long  services  should  be 
avoided.  A  well  chosen  hour  for  family 
prayer  is  of  great  importance.  An  hour  at 
which  the  greatest  number  can  attend, 
which  is  least  liable  to   interruption,  and 


THE   WEDDING    GIFT.  i)  i 

at  which  the  members  are  most  capable 
of  attention,  is  the  hour  to  be  chosen.  The 
hour  being  fixed,  let  it  never  be  varied  ; 
punctuality  is  essential  to  order. 

In  the  discharge  of  so  sacred  a  duty  as 

that  of  religious  worship,  every  thing  is  of 

importance.      The    manner    therefore    in 

wliicli  it  is  performed  by  him  who  conducts 

it,  deserves  some  consideration.     Let  it  be 

free  from  such  habits  as  indicate  want  of 

j  i-everence  or  dissipate  attention.    Delivei'i/ 

!  ought  particularly  to  be  attended  to.    Let 

him  who  leads  in  family  worship  be  con- 

I  cerned    to    render    it    both    solemn    and 

engaging. 

Among  our  visiters  there  may  be  one 
who  has  been  so  unhappily  educated  as 
j  never  to  have  been  present  at  the  perform- 
I  ance  of  family  worship,  and  to  him  such  an 
observance  may  appear  merely  a  kind  of 
sectarian  peculiarity.  On  the  arrival  of 
such  a  person,  orderly  families  liavc  sus- 
pended their  usual  worship.     But  far  l^e 


58  THE    WEDDING    GIFT. 

such  a  mean  accommodation  from  the  con- 
duct of  a  christian !  No,  let  the  stranger 
see  how  we  live  —  Avhat  regard  we  pay  to 
an  invisible  eye  —  and  where  we  ground 
our  best  hopes. 

THE   FAMILY. 

In  conclusion,  let  there  be  a  mixture 
of  devotion,  instruction,  government,  and 
example,  in  the  superintendence  of  a  family. 
Let  these  go  hand  in  hand;  and  while 
they  support  each  other,  they  will  give 
stability  and  comfort  to  the  house  in 
which  they  are  exercised.  It  will  be  the 
abode  of  peace.  In  the  superiors  will  be 
seen  authority  tempered  with  kindness ; 
among  the  inferiors,  sobriety,  fidelity,  in- 
dustiy  and  frugality ;  and  among  all.,  <jood 
ivill  to  each  other  will  be  observable. 


THE   WEDDING   GIFT.  59 


KELIGIOUS        INSTRUCTION        OF       THE 
MOTHER. 

In  the  religious  insti-uction  of  her  child- 
ren a  mother  will  find  it  necessary  to  pre- 
pare them  not  to  look  for  perfection  in  any 
human  form ;  but  rather  to  expect  that 
amongst  the  best  of  human  beings  there 
will  be  faults,  while  amongst  the  worst 
there  will  occasionally  be  something  to 
commend.  She  Avill  teach  them  that  it  is 
the  state  of  the  heart  before  God  upon 
which  their  eternal  safety  depends. 

What  is  done  by  a  mother  is  of  infinite 
importance  to  her  children ;  because  a 
single  fault  indulged  on  her  part  may  im- 
part its  character  to  their  whole  lives,  and 
spread  through  circle  after  circle  of  in- 
fluence widening  on  and  still  extending 
long  after  she  herself  has  been  gathered  to 
her  earthly  home.  But  since  we  are  all 
human,  and  since  the  brightest  examples 
of  human  excellence  ai-e  shadowed  by  some 


GO  THE    WEDDIXG    GIFT. 

cloud  and  obscured  by  some  defect,  the 
mother  has  no  need  to  be  discouraged  as 
regards  her  religious  influence,  so  long  as 
her  heart  is  right  with  God ;  because  there 
will  be  a  spirit  pervading  her  whole  life  to 
which  her  children  will  not  be  insensible. 


THE    WEDDIXO    OIFT.  61 


CHAPTER    VI. 


now    TO  PRESERVE  THE  HEART  TOU 
HAVE  WON. 

The  first  inquiry  of  a  woman  after 
marriage  should  be,  "  How  shall  I  con- 
tinue the  love  I  have  inspired  1  How  shall 
I  preserve  the  heart  I  have  won  1  " 

1.  Endeavor  to  make  your  husband's 
habitation  alluring  and  delightful  to  him. 
Let  it  be  to  him  a  sanctuary  to  which  his 
heart  may  always  turn  from  the  calamities 
of  life.  Make  it  a  repose  from  his  cares,  a 
a  shelter  from  the  world,  a  home  not  for  his 
person  only,  but  for  his  heart.  He  may 
meet  with  pleasure  in  other  houses,  but  let 
him  be  sure  to  find  pleasure  in  his  o^^-n. 
Should  he  be  dejected,  soothe  him  :   should 


62  THE   WEDDING    GIFT. 

lie  be  silent  and  thoughtful,  do  not  heed- 
lessly disturb  him  ;  should  he  be  studious, 
favor  him  with  all  practicable  facilities  ;  or 
should  he  be  peevish,  make  allowance  for 
human  nature,  and  by  your  sweetness, 
gentleness,  and  good  humor,  urge  liim 
continually  to  think,  though  he  may  not 
say  it,  '•  This  woman  is  indeed  a  comfort 
to  me ;  I  cannot  but  love  her,  and  requite 
such  gentleness  and  aflection  as  they 
deserve." 

2.  Invariably  adorn  yourself  Avith  delicacy 
and  modesty.  These,  to  a  man  of  reiinc- 
ment,  are  attractions  the  most  liighly  cap- 
tivating ;  while  their  opposite  never  fail  to 
inspire  disgust.  Let  the  delicacy  and 
modesty  of  the  bride  be  always,  in  a  great 
degree,  supported  by  the  wife. 

3.  If  it  be  possible,  let  your  husband 
suppose  you  think  him  a  good  husband, 
and  it  will  be  a  strong  stimulus  to  his  being 
so.  As  long  as  he  thinks  lie  possesses  the 
reputation,  he  will  take  some  pains  to  de- 


THE   WEDDIXG    GIFT.  63 

serve  it ;  but  when  he  has   once  lost   the 
name  he  'vWll  be  apt  to  abandon  the  reality. 

4.  Cultivate  and  exhibit,  with  the  greatest 
care  and  constancy,  chjcerfulness  and  good 
humor.  They  give  beauty  to  the  plainest 
face ;  and  impart  charais,  where  channs 
are  not.  On  the  contraiy,  a  gloomy,  dis- 
satisfied manner  is  no  antidote  to  affliction  ; 
and  though  a  man  may  not  seem  to  notice 
it,  it  is  chilling  and  repulsive  to  his  feelings, 
and  he  will  be  very  apt  to  seek  elsewhere 
for  those  smiles  and  that  cheerfulness  which 
he  finds  not  in  his  own  house. 

5.  In  the  article  of  dress,  study  your  hus- 
band's taste.  The  opinion  of  others,  on 
this  subject,  is  of  but  little  consequence,  if 
he  approves. 

6.  Particularly  shun  what  the  Avorld  calls, 
in  ridicule,  "  curtain  lectures."  When  you 
shut  your  door  at  night,  endeavor  to  shut 
out  at  the  same  moment  all  discord  and 
contention,  and  look  on  your  chamber  as  a 
retreat  from  the  vexations  of  the  world,  a 


THE    AVEDDING    GIFT. 


shelter  sacred  to  peace  and  affection.  How 
indecorous,  offensive,  and  sinful  it  is  for 
a  woman  to  exercise  authority  over  her 
husband,  and  to  say,  '•  I  icilt  have  it  so.  It 
shall  he  as  I  like !  "  But  I  tnist  that  the 
number  of  those  Avho  adopt  this  unbecom- 
ing and  disgraceful  manner  is  so  small  as 
to  render  it  unnecessary  to  enlarge  on  the 
subject. 

7.  Be  careful  never  to  join  in  a  jest  and 
laugh  against  your  husband.  Conceal  his 
faults,  and  speak  only  of  his  merits.  Shun 
every  approach  to  extravagance.  The 
want  of  economy  has  involved  millions  in 
misery.  Be  neat,  tidy,  orderly,  methodical. 
Rise  early ;  breakfast  early  ;  — have  a  place 
for  every  thing,  and  every  thing  in  its 
place. 

8.  Few  things  please  a  man  more  than 
seeing  his  wife  notable  and  clever  in  the 
management  of  her  household.  A  knowl- 
edge of  cookery,  as  well  as  every  other 
branch  in  housekeeping,  is  indispensable  in 
a  female. 


THE    WEDDIXG    GIFT.  65 

9.  Let  home  be  your  empire,  your  world. 
Let  it  be  the  scene  of  your  wishes,  your 
thoughts,  your  plans,  your  exertions.  Let 
it  be  the  stage  on  which,  in  the  varied  char- 
acter of  wife,  of  mother,  and  of  mistress, 
you  strive  to  shine.  In  its  sober,  quiet 
scenes,  let  your  heart  cast  its  anchor,  let 
your  feelings  and  pursuits  all  be  centered. 
Leave  to  your  husband  the  task  of  dis- 
tinguishing himself  by  his  valor  or  his  tal- 
ents. Do  you  seek  for  fame  at  home ;  and 
let  your  applause  be  thai  of  your  servants, 
your  children,  your  husband,  your  God. 


66  THE    AVEDDING    GIFT. 


CHAPTEE    VII 


GUAKD   AGAINST    OFFENCES. 

Man  and  wife  are  equally  concerned  to 
avoid  all  otFences  of  each  other  in  the  be- 
ginning of  their  conversation ;  every  little 
thing  can  blast  an  infant  blossom  ;  and  the 
breath  of  the  south  can  shake  the  little 
rings  of  the  vine,  when  first  they  begin  to 
curl  like  the  locks  of  a  new- weaned  boy  : 
but  when  by  age  and  consolidation  they 
stiffen  into  the  hardness  of  a  stem,  and 
have,  by  the  warm  embraces  of  the  sun  and 
the  kisses  of  heaven,  brought  forth  tlicir 
clusters,  they  can  endure  the  storms  of  the 
north,  and  the  loud  noises  of  a  tempest,  and 
yet  never  be  broken :  so  ai-e  the  early 
unions  of  an  unfixed  marriage ;  watchfiil 
and  observant,  jealous  and  busy,  inquisitive 


TUP-    WEDDING    GIFT.  67 

and  careful,  and  apt  to  take  alann  at  every 
unkind  word.  After  the  hearts  of  the  man 
and  the  wife  are  endeared  and  hardened  by 
a  mutual  confidence  and  experience,  longer 
than  artifice  and  pretence  can  last,  there  are 
a  great  many  remembrances,  and  some 
things  present,  that  dash  all  little  unkind- 
nesses  in  pieces. 

LOVE   ESSENTIAL  TO   HAPPINESS. 

There  is  nothing  can  please  a  man  with- 
out love;  and  if  a  man  be  weary  of  the 
wise  discourses  of  the  apostles,  and  of  the 
innocency  of  an  even  and  a  private  fortune, 
or  hates  peace,  or  a  fniitful  year,  he  hath 
reaped  thorns  and  thistles  fi-om  the  choicest 
flowers  of  Paradise ;  for  nothing  can  sweet- 
en felicity  itself  but  love ;  but  when  a  man 
dwells  in  love,  then  the  breasts  of  his  wife 
are  pleasant  as  the  droppings  upon  the  hill 
i  of  Hermon  5  her  eyes  are  fair  as  the  light 
of  heaven ;  she  is  a  fountain  sealed,  and  he 
can  quench  his  tliirst,  and  ease  liis  cares. 


68  THE   WEDDING    GIFT. 

and  lay  his  soitows  down  upon  her  lap, 
and  can  retiie  home  to  his  sanctuary  and 
refectory,  and  his  gardens  of  sweetness  and 
chaste  refreshments.  No  man  can  tell  but 
he  that  loves  his  children,  how  many  de- 
licious accents  make  a  man's  heart  dance 
in  the  pretty  conversation  of  those  dear 
pledges  ;  their  childishness,  their  stammer- 
ing, their  little  angers,  their  innocence,  their 
imperfections,  their  necessities,  are  so  many 
little  emanations  of  joy  and  comfort  to  him 
that  delights  in  their  persons  and  society. 

THE    MAKKIED    STATE   AN    EMBLEM    OF 
THE   HEATENLY. 

Those  married  pairs  who  live  as  remem- 
bering that  they  must  part  again,  and  give 
an  account  how  they  treat  themselves  and 
each  other,  shall,  at  the  day  of  their  death, 
be  admitted  to  glorious  espousals ;  and 
when  they  shall  live  again,  be  married  to 
their  Lord,  and  partake  of  his  glories,  with 
Abraham  and  Joseph,  St.  Peter  and  St. 


THE    AVKDDIXG    GIFT.  69 

Paul,  and  all  the  married  saints.  All  those 
things  that  now  jjleasc  us  shall  pi\ss  from 
tis,  or  Ave  from  them  ;  but  those  things  that 
concern  the  other  life  are  permanent  as  the 
numbers  of  eternity.  And  although  at  the 
resuiTection  there  shall  be  no  relation  to 
husband  and  wife,  and  no  mairiage  shall 
be  celebrated  but  the  marriage  of  the  Lamb, 
vet  then  sliall  be  remembered  how  men  and 
women  passed  througli  this  state,  which  is  a 
type  of  that;  and  from  this  sacramental 
imion  all  holy  pairs  shall  pass  to  the  spir- 
itual and  eternal,  where  love  shall  be  their 
])ortion,  and  joy  shall  crown  their  heads, 
and  they  shall  lie  in  the  bosom  of  Jesus, 
and  in  the  heart  of  God,  to  eternal  ages. 

SOURCKS   OF    UNHAPPIXESS. 

It  needs  not  guilt  to  break  a  husband's 
heart ;  the  absence  of  content,  the  mutter- 
ings  of  spleen  :  the  untidy  dress  and  cheer- 
less home,  the  forbidding  scowl  and  desert- 
ed hearth ;  these  and  other  nameless  neg- 


70  THE    AVKDDING    GIFT. 

lects  —  without  a  crime  among  them,  have 
haiTOwed  to  the  qiiiclv  the  core  of  many  a 
man,  and  planted  there,  beyond  the  reach 
of  cure,  the  germ  of  dark  despair.  Oh! 
may  woman,  before  that  sad  sight  arrives, 
dwell  on  the  recollections  of  her  youth, 
and,  cherishing  the  dear  idea  of  that  tune- 
ful time,  awake  and  keep  alive  the  prom- 
ises she  then  so  kindly  gave ;  and  though 
she  may  be  the  injured,  not  the  injuring  one 

—  the  forgotten,  not  the  forgetful  wife  — 
a  happy  allusion  to  that  hour  of  peace  and 
love  —  a  kindly  welcome  to  a  comfortable 
home  —  a  smile  of  loA^e  to  banish  hostile 
words  —  a  kiss  of  peace  to  pardon  all  the 
past,  and  the  hardest  heart  that  ever  locked 
itself  within  the  breast  of  selfish  man  Avill 
soften  to  her  charms,  and  bid  her  live,  as 
she  had  hoped,  her  years  in  matcliless  bliss 

—  loved,  loving  and  content — the  soother 
of  the  sorrowing  hour — the  source  of 
comfort  and  the  spring  of  joy. 


THE    WEDDIXO    GIFT.  71 


MAlilllAGE    AND    THE    SABBATH. 

Let  any  man,  young  or  old.  despise  and 
trample  on  Marriage,  that  great  fundamen- 
tal institution  which  God  established  to  se- 
cm-e  and  perpetuate  the  existence  and  social 
purity  of  our  race,  and  through  which  to 
make  known  himself  and  manifest  his  good- 
ness to  man;  and  let  him  seek  those 
gratifications  Avithout,  which  it  is  his  re- 
vealed will  should  be  enjoyed  only  within 
its  sacred  inclosure ;  or  let  him  openly  and 
presumptuously  neglect  and  desecrate  the 
Sabbath,  that  other  great  and  fundamental 
institution,  which,  like  maniage,  God 
established  at  the  creation,  as  a  help  meet 
for  families,  and  thi-ough  whose  hallowed 
influences  they  can  alone  accomplish  the 
end  for  which  they  were  established ;  and  as 
certainly  as  God  reigns  in  heaven,  who 
judgeth  upon  the  earth,  such  men,  even 
here  will  be  visited  with  liis  cm-se.  He  has 
established  laws,  fixed  as  the  pillars  of  his 


THE    WEDDING    GIFT. 


throne,  which  no  man  can  annul  or  CAade, 
by  Avhich  tliose  sins,  continued,  -will  work 
out  destruction. 


THE  mSSION ART'S  WIPE. 

There  is  something  exceedingly  in- 
teresting in  a  missionary's  wife.  Says  Ste- 
vens, in  his  "  Incidents  of  Travel,"  I  saw 
much  of  the  missionaries  abroad,  and  even 
made  many  warm  friends  among  them : 
and  I  repeat  it,  there  is  something  ex- 
ceedingly interesting  in  a  missionary's  wife. 
She  who  had  been  cherished  as  a  plant  that 
the  winds  must  not  breathe  on  too  rudely, 
recovers  from  the  separation  from  her 
friends  to  find  herself  in  a  land  of  barbari- 
ans, where  her  loud  cry  of  distress  can 
never  reach  their  ears.  New  ties  twine 
round  her  heai-t,  and  the  tender  and  help- 
less girl  changes  her  very  nature  and 
becomes  the  staff  and  support  of  the  man. 


THE    WEDDlXa    (ilFT. 


In  his  hours  of  despondency  she  raises  his 
drooping  spirits;  she  bathes  liis  aching 
head  and  snnooths  his  pillow  of  sickness. 
I  have  entered  her  dweUing  and  have  been 
welcomed  as  a  brother ;  have  ansAvered  her 
hurried,  anxious  questions ;  and  some- 
times, when  I  have  known  any  of  her 
friends  at  home,  I  have  been  for  a  moment 
more  than  recompensed  for  all  the  toils  and 
privations  of  a  traveller  in  the  East.  And 
when  I  left  her  dwelling  it  was  with  a  mind 
burthened  with  remembrances  to  friends 
whom  she  Avill,  perhaps,  never  see  again. 


74  THE   WEDDING   GIFT. 


FIRST   AFFECTION. 

I  hiow  he  loves  me,  for  I  read 

The  story  m  his  eye, 
And  hear  it  from  those  lips  of  liis 

When  none  but  he  is  nigh : 
And  I  have  loved  him  in  return, 

And  back  to  him  have  given 
]\Iy  first  and  dearest  love,  save  that 

Which  God  must  claim,  and  heaven. 
Ah  !  who  could  help  but  loving  him, 

He  is  so  good  and  kind. 
And  has  so  much  of  nobleness 

And  purity  of  mind  ; 
0,  I  can  place  my  confidence. 

With  faith  no  doubt  can  dim, 
And  centre  hope  and  happiness, 

My  earthly  all,  in  him. 
But 't  is  around  him  most  of  all 

That  my  affection  twines. 
Because  in  all  his  deeds  and  words 

The  Saviour's  spirit  shines. 


THE    WEDDING    GIFT,  75 

^Vllat  though  unbidden  to  my  eye, 

The  tears  will  sometimes  start, 
To  think  that  from  my  childhood's  home, 

Ere  long,  I  must  depart  ? 
It  may  be  wrong  that  but  for  this 

My  cheek  is  sometimes  wet. 
It  may  be  ^^Tong,  but  mine  is  not 

A  heart  that  can  forget. 
Or  leave  without  a  sigh,  the  things 

It  prized  in  by-gone  hom-s. 
And  fling  the  joys  of  other  days 

Aside  like  faded  flowers  ; 
Ah  no  !  but  I  have  won  for  these 

Els  deathless  love  and  ti-ue, 
"VVTio  will  forgive  my  parting  tears. 

Forgive  my  weakness  too. 

And  I,  for  his  sweet  sake,  will  leave 

All  that  I  prized  before, 
Xor  cast  one  longing  look  behind 

On  scenes  my  own  no  more. 

'Tis  not  they  are  less  dear  to  me, 

For  now  they  seem  to  fill 
A  larger  portion  of  my  heart. 

But  he  is  dearer  still. 


76  THE   -WKDDING    GIFT. 

His  home  must  be  the  home  for  me, 

And  patlis  untried,  untrod ; 
His  people  shall  my  people  be, 

His  God  shall  be  my  God. 

Life  is  not  all  a  summer  day, 

For  wintry  tempests  blow, 
And  sti-ong  winds  of  adversity 

Sweep  harshly  to  and  fi-o : 
But  not  for  sunny  days  alone 

Will  I  become  his  bride, 
'T  is  for  those  dark  and  stonuy  ones 

That  yet  may  dawn  beside  ; 
'T  is  for  those  days  when  cares  shall  fling 

Their  shadows  on  his  brow, 
As  well  as  when  the  moments  wing 

A  joyous  flight  as  now. 

And  oh  !  when  cares  abroad,  a  weight 

Upon  his  soul  shall  fall, 
God  grant  that  in  his  happy  homo, 

He  may  forget  them  all : 
That  when  the  threshold  of  that  home 

His  weary  foot  hath  ci-ossed, 
In  mij  caress  and  welcoming 

The  memory  may  be  lost, 


THE    WEDDIXG    GIFT.  77 

Of  all  that  hath  the  power  to  miikc 

His  gentle  spirit  sad  ; 
And  it  Avill  be  my  happiness 

To  strive  to  make  him  glad. 

I  know  mine  is  an  erring  heart, 

But  oh,  ray  aim  shall  be 
To  make  it  worthy  of  the  love 

He  richly  showers  on  me. 

I  know  that  he  will  bear  Avith  me. 

My  faults  will  gently  chide, 
And  pardon  all  the  waywardness 

And  folly  of  his  bride ; 
But  'tis  not  in  my  own  weak  strength 

I  pledge  myself  to  him, 
To  be  his  own  in  faithfulness, 

Till  death  my  eye  shall  dim ; 
0,  no  !  I  dare  not  think  of  this ; 

I  go  in  strength  Divine, 
To  tread  the  world's  rough  paths  with  him, 

To  link  his  lot  with  mine. 

And  'mid  whate'er  of  good  or  ill 

Shall  be  to  us  assigned, 
To  him  shall  cling  my  spirit  still, 

The  same  sweet  ties  shall  bhid. 


THE   WEDDING    GIFT. 


Death  cannot  part  us :  are  we  not 

United  throngli  tlie  Son, 
By  the  same  rich,  immortal  hopes 

In  our  Redeemer,  one  ? 
And  seek  we  not  the  same  bright  heaven? 

0,  till  we  enter  there, 
Life's  joys  and  sorrows  here  below 

Together  we  will  bear. 

Mrs.  A.  Edmonds. 


MUSIC  AND  LOVE. 

No  softer  tie  can  bind  the  heart 
Than  music  'twined  with  love  ; 

The  union  fonncd,  plays  such  a  part 
As  wafts  the  soul  above. 

The  soft  delights  which  from  them  flow 
Will  ease  the  pangs  of  grief  ; 

Will  calm  the  heart  oppressed  with  woe, 
And  give  the  soul  relief. 


THE    WEDDING    GIFT.  79 


MAREIAGE    HYMN. 

Now  the  solcrrm  words  are  spoken, 

Now  the  marriage  vow  is  said ; 
And  the  tie,  till  death  unbroken, 

Binds  the  kindred  spirits  wed  : 
Sacred  season, 

O'er  it,  Hope,  thy  radiance  shed. 
Thou,  who  standest  at  the  altar, 

Claiming  there  thy  chosen  bride, 
In  thy  duty  never  falter, 

O'er  life's  stormy  sea  to  guide  : 
Be  thou  faithful, 

Let  whate'er  of  change  betide. 
Fondly  guard  the  priceless  treasure, 

Woman's  love,  which  thou  has  won  ; 
So  thy  cup  of  bliss  shall  measure 

Ever  full  and  over  run  : 
Till  a  pui-er 

Angels  fill,  when  life  is  done. 

Thou  from  childhood's  home  departing, 
And  the  loved  of  manv  vears  : 


80  THE    AVKDDIXG    GIFT. 

O'er  this  hour's  briglit  sunshhicdivrtinp;, 
Cometh  grief  Avith  falling  tears : 

Doubly  precious, 
Every  face  and  scene  appears. 

Oh  I  when  fai'  from  these  connections, 
From  this  dear,  this  hallowed  spot, 

In  thy  spirit's  wann  afTections, 
Cherished  one,  forget  us  not: 

Thou  shalt  never, 
By  us  changeless,  be  forgot. 

Go,  we  would  not  here  detain  thee. 
Tempt  thee  in  our  midst  to  stay  ; 

By  our  words  we  will  not  pain  thee, 
Duty  calls  thee  hence,  away: 

Go  —  we  give  thee 
All  the  tribute  love  can  pay. 

Fare  ye  well !  may  God's  rich  blessing 

On  ye  both  rest  sweetly  now  ; 
'Neath  his  smiles  all  bliss  possessing, 
Farth  on  mortals  can  endow : 

Till  ye  enter 
Worlds  where  binds  no  marriage  vow. 
Mrs.  A.  Edmo?ids. 


THE   WEDDING   GIFT.  81 


TO  ACHSAH. 

It  was  a  vision  !  briglit  and  brief 

It's  meteor  beauty  flash' d  before  me, 
Through  many  a  cloud  of  gloom  and  grief 

That  long  had  darkly  linger'd  o'er  me : 
A  dawn  of  dearer,  tenderer  bliss 

.  Than  e'er  my  fondest  fancy  painted, 
Sei'cne  as  summer-sunlight  is, 

By  shadowing  clouds  undimm'd,  untainted. 
Then  pardon  !  that,  as  o'er  my  way 

It  shone,  like  Heaven's  own  halo  smiling, 
I  deem'd  not  thai  delightful  ray, 

Like  all  life's  earlier  lights  beguiling. 

'Tis  flown ;  joy's  dream-depicted  form  ! 

Thy  lips  the  awakening  word  hath  spoken, 
■\Mio?e  utterance  like  a  counter-charm. 

Life's  latest,  loveliest  spell  has  broken. 
Oh  !  frown  not :  —  if  my  love  was  rash, 

Full  deai-ly  has  that  rashness  cost  me ; 
Hope  dawn'd  and  died,  — a  lightning-flash  ! 

And  then  iliat  icord^  the  thunder,  cross'd  me. 


82  THE    AVKDDING    CxIFT. 

It  came  with  desolating  blow 

My  heart  to  smite,  my  hope  to  smothei*  — 
Oh  !  where  is  life's  euchantment  now  ? 

Thou'rt  lost  to  me  !  thou  lov'st  another! 
Thou  lov'st  another,  and  we  part  — 

I,  reft  of  hope,  and  lorn  and  lonely, 
Thou,  bless'd  and  blessing ;  but  this  heart 

Still  loves  thee  best,  still  loves  thee  only. 
Yet,  though  thou  wert  my  fancy's  flower, 

Nor  beauty's  brightest  ones  excell'd  thee, 
I  knew  not,  till  that  dreadful  hour, 

How  deeply,  wildly  dear  I  held  thee  ! 
Aye,  lady,  'twas  that  hour  unveil' d 

To  my  own  heart  the  hope  it  cherish'd  ; 
But  scarce  that  new-found  hope  was  hail'd 

Ere,  like  a  birth-smit  babe,  it  perish'd. 
Enough  !  enough  !  my  wretchedness 

Shall  never  dim  thy  dawn  of  gladness  ; 
Yet  will  I  love  thee  not  the  less, 

Though  mask'd  my  love,  though  meek  my 
sadness ! 
This  heart  shall  learn  the  task,  to  chain 

Its  struggling  thoughts  in  stern  compulsion, 
And  friendship's  tranquil  interest  feign, 

While  shivering  with  its  hid  convulsion. 


THE   WEDDING   GIFT.  83 

For  tliee,  be  life-like  paths  that  run, 
Through  fields  the  greenest,  balmiest, 
brightest ; 
And  oh  !  may  he,  thy  chosen  one, 

Love  thee  like  him  whose  love  thou  slightest. 
And  what  shall  Heaven  more  deeply  bless 
Than  manly  worth  and  woman's  beauty. 
So  link'd  in  mutual  tenderness, 
In  high-soul'd  faith,  in hallow'd  duty  ? 
Ladies^  Monthly  Museum. 


OBERON  TO  TITANIA. 

Fairy  love,  fairy  love. 

Wander  with  me. 
Through  the  wild  forest, 

And  over  the  lea : 
Come  where  the  roses 

Are  blooming  in  pride, 
Down  in  the  valley. 

The  streamlet  beside. 


84  THE   WEDDING   GIFT. 

Whose  gentle  murmm-iiig, 

As  it  glides  by, 
Breathes  out  an  answer 

To  ZephjTus'  sigh. 

Come,  I  have  spread  out 

A  couch  of  repose, 
Of  the  sweetest  iiowers 

The  sumniev''hestows  : 
Violets,  whose  azure 

Shall  tell  thee  of  truth, 
Lilies,  the  emblems 

Of  innocent  youth  : 
Through  the  wild  forest, 

And  over  the  lea, 
Faiiy  love,  fairy  love, 

Wander  with  me  ! 

I  liave  framed  a  light  skiff 

Of  a  hazel-nut  shell. 
And  my  gossamer  canvass 

Is  flung  to  the  gale  ; 
And  while  *he  soft  breezes 

Of  evening  awake 
The  slumbers  of  echo, 

We'll  skim  o'er  the  lake. 


THE    AVEDUING    GIFT.  85 

Come,  I  am  longing 

For  night  and  for  thee, 
Fairy  love,  fairy  love, 

Wander  with  me  ! 

James  Knox. 


LOVE,  HOPE,  AND  BEAUTY. 

Love  may  be  increased  by  fears, 

]\Iay  be  fann'd  with  sighs, 
Nurst  by  fancies,  fed  by  doubts  ; 

But  without  Hope  it  dies  ! 
As  in  the  far  Indian  isles 

Dies  the  young  cocoa  tree, 
Unless  within  the  pleasant  shade 

Of  the  parent  plant  it  be  : 
So  Love  may  spring  up  at  first 

Lighted  at  Beauty's  eyes  :  — 
But  Beauty  is  not  afll  its  life. 

For  without  Hope  it  dies. 

L.  E.  L. 


S6  THE   WEDDING    GIFT. 


I  WILL  HAVE  NO  HUSBAND  — NO! 


They  say  they'll  to  my  wedding  go ; 
But  I  will  have  no  husband  —  no ! 

I  '11  rather  live  serene  and  still 
Upon  a  solitary  hill, 
Than  bend  me  to  another's  will, 
And  be  a  slave  in  weal  or  wo : 
No  !  I  will  have  no  husband  —  no  ! 

No  !  mother:  I've  no  wish  to  prove 
The  doubtful  joys  of  wedded  love, 
And  from  these  flowery  pathways  rove 
Where  innocence  and  comfort  grow  — 
No  !  I  wiU  have  no  husband  —  no  ! 

And  Heaven,  I  'm  sure,  ne'er  meant  that  he. 
Should  thy  young  daughter's  husband  be  : 
We  have  no  common  sympathy  — 
So  let  youth's  bud  unbroken  blow  — 
For  I  will  have  no  husband  —  no  ! 

Ancient  Poetry  of  Spain. 


THE   WEDDING   GIFT.  87 


LINES, 

WRITTEN  UNDER  THE    PICTURE  OF  A   GIKL 
BURNING  A  LOVE  LETTER. 

The  lines  were  filled  with  many  a  tender 

thing, 
All  the  impassion' d  heart's  fond  commun- 


I  took  the  scroll :  I  could  not  brook 

An  eye  to  gaze  on  it  save  mine  ; 
I  could  not  bear  another's  look 

Should  dwell  upon  one  thought  of  thine. 
My  lamp  was  burning  by  my  side, 

I  held  the  letter  to  the  flame, 
I  mark'd  the  blaze  swift  o'er  it  glide, 

It  did  even  spare  thy  name. 
Soon  the  Ught  from  the  embers  past, 

I  felt  so  sad  to  see  it  die, 
So  bright  at  first,  so  dark  at  last, 

I  fe^r'd  it  was  love's  history. 

L.  E.  L. 


88  THE    -WEDDING    GIFT. 


THE    VOW. 


The  rose  is  my  favorite  flower : 
On  its  tablets  of  crimson  I  swore, 
That  up  to  my  last  living  hour, 
I  never  would  thmk  of  thee  more. 

I  scarcely  the  record  had  made, 
Ere  Zephp',  in  frolicsome  play, 
On  his  hght,  airy  pinions  convey'd 
Both  tablet  and  promise  away. 

Kosirov. 


THE  BRIDE'S  FAREWELL. 


Why  do  I  weep  ?  — to  leave  the  vine 
Whose  clusters  o'er  me  bend : 

The  myrtle  —  yet,  0,  call  it  mine  !  — 
The  flowers  I  love  to  tend  : 


THE    WEDDING    GIFT.  89 

A  thousand  thoughts  of  all  things  dear, 

Like  shadows  o'er  me  sweep, 
I  leave  my  sunny  childhood  here, 

Oh,  therefore,  let  me  weep  ! 
I  leave  thee,  sister  ! — we  have  play'd 

Through  many  a  joyous  hour. 
When  the  silvery  green  of  the  olive  shade, 

Hung  dim  o'er  the  fount  and  the  bower  ! 
Yes,  thou  and  I,  by  stream,  by  shore, 

In  song,  m  prayer,  in  sleep, 
Have  been  as  we  may  be  no  more : — 

Sweet  sister,  let  me  Aveep  ! 
I  leave  thee,  father  !  —  Eve's  bright  moon 

Must  now  light  other  feet. 
With  the  gathered  grapes,  and  lyre  in  tune. 

Thy  homeward  steps  to  greet  ! 
Thou,  in  whose  voice,  to  bless  thy  child. 

Lay  tones  of  love  so  deep. 
Whose  eye  o'er  all  my  youth  has  smiled 

I  leave  thee  !  let  me  weep  ! 
Mother,  I  leave  thee  !  —  on  thy  breast, 

Pouring  out  joy  and  woe, 
I  have  found  that  holy  place  of  rest 

Still  changeless  —  yet  I  go  ! 


90  THB    WEDDING    GIFT. 

Lips  that  have  hill'd  me  with  your  strain, 
Eyes  that  have  watch'd  my  sleep  : 

Will  eai-th  give  love  like  yours  again  V 
Kind  mother,  let  me  weep  ! 

Mrs.  Hemans. 


WHEN  SHOULD  LOVERS  BREATHE 
THEIR  VOWS. 

When  should  lovers  broathc  their  vows  V 

When  should  ladies  hear  them  V 
When  the  dew  is  on  the  boughs ; 

When  none  else  are  near  them  ; 
When  the  moon  shines  cold  and  pale  ; 

When  the  birds  are  sleeping ; 
When  no  voice  is  on  the  gale  ; 

When  the  rose  is  weeping  ; 
When  the  stars  are  bright  on  high, 

Like  hopes  in  young  Love's  dreaming, 
And  glancing  round  the  light  clouds  fly. 

Like  soft  fears  to  shade  their  beaming. 
The  fairest  smiles  are  those  that  live 

On  the  brow  by  starlight  wreathing  ; 


THE   WEDDIXG    GIFT.  91 

And  the  lips  their  richest  incense  give 

When  the  sigh  is  at  midnight  breathing. 
0,  softest  is  the  cheek's  love-ray 

When  seen  by  moonlight  hours, — 
Other  roses  seek  the  day, 

But  blushes  are  night  flowers. 
0,  when  the  moon  and  stars  are  bright, 

When  the  dew-drops  glisten, 
Then  their  vows  should  lovers  plight, 

Then  should  ladies  listen. 

L.  E.  L. 


THE  EMEEALD  EIXG. 


It  is  a  gem  that  hath  the  power  to  show 
If  plighted  lovers  keep  their  faith  or  no  : 
If  faithful,  it  is  like  the  leaves  of  spring ; 
If  faithless,  like  those  leaves  when  withering. 
Take  back  again  your  emerald  gem, 

There  is  no  color  in  the  stone  ; 
It  might  have  gi-aced  a  diadem, 

But  now  its  hue  and  light  are  gone  ! 


92  THE   AVEDDING   GIFT. 

Take  Ijack  your  gift,  and  give  me  mine  — 

The  kiss  that  sealed  om-  hist  love  voav  ; 
Ah,  other  lips  have  been  on  thine,  — 

My  kiss  is  lost  and  sullied  now  I 
The  gem  is  pale,  the  kiss  forgot. 

And,  more  than  either,  you  are  changed ; 
But  my  true  love  hath  altered  not. 

My  heart  is  broken  —  not  estranged  ! 

L.  E.  L. 


CUPID    CAPTIVE. 

The  Muses,  once,  intent  on  play, 

Yoimg  Cupid,  roving  sought ; 
With  flowery  wreaths  his  hands  they  tied 

And,  bound,  to  Beautj^  brought. 
Fond  Venus  ranges  all  the  plain 

To  seek  her  little  joy, 
And  soon  a  powerful  ransom  brings, 

To  free  the  hnprison'd  boy. 
But,  though  released,  the  captive  god 

Eefused  to  quit  his  chains  ; 
And  still,  to  Beauty's  gentle  sway 

A  willing  slave  remains. 


THE    WEDDING    GIFT  93 


LOVE. 

Every  votary  of  love, 

Needs  must  pain  and  pleasure  prove, 
Love's  delights  belong  to  those 

Who  have  felt  Love's  wants  and  woes. 
Love  still  bears  a  double  chain, 

All  his  prisoners  to  bind. 
Living  —  seek  they  death  in  vain ; 

Dying —  life  in  death  they  find. 
"When  he  wounds  or  kills,  he  cures, — 

When  he  heals,  he  seems  to  kill  — 
So  the  love-lorn  heart  endures 

All  extremes  of  good  and  ill. 


Estrange  her  once,  it  boots  not  how, 

By  wi'ong,  doubts,  falsehood — any  thing  that 

tells 
A  change  has  come  upon  your  tenderness, — 
And  there  is  not  a  high  thing  out  of  heaven 
Her  pride  o'ermastereth  not.  Willis. 


94  THE   WEDDING   GIFT. 


THE  LADY'S  YES. 

"  Yes  !  "  I  answered  you  last  night  ■ 

"  No !  "  this  morning,  sir,  I  say  — 
Colors  seen  by  candle-light, 

Cannot  look  the  same  by  day. 
When  the  tabors  played  their  best, 

And  the  dancers  were  not  slow, 
"  Love  me"  sounded  like  a  jest. 

Fit  for  "  yes  "  or  fit  for  "  no." 
Thus,  the  sin  is  on  us  both  ; 

Was  to  dance  a  time  to  woo  ? 
Wooer  light  makes  fickle  troth — 

Scorn  of  me  recoils  on  you. 
Learn  to  win  a  lady's  faith 

Nobly,  as  the  thing  is  high  — 
Bravely,  as  in  fronting  death  — 

With  a  virtuous  gravity. 
Lead  her  from  the  painted  boards  — 

Point  her  to  the  starry  skies  — 
Guard  her,  by  your  truthful  words, 

Pure  from  courtship's  flatteries. 


THE   WEDDING   GIFT.  95 

By  your  truth  she  shall  be  true, 

Ever  true  as  wives  of  yore, 
And  her  "  yes,"  once  said  to  you, 

Shall  be  yes  for  evermore. 

Elizabeth  B.  Barrett 


THE  TRUE  HEART'S  ASPIRATIONS. 

I  would  be  thine  ! 
Oh,  not  to  learn  the  anguish 

Of  being  first  a  deity  enshrined, 
Then,  when  the  fever-fit  is  past,  to  languish, 
Stript  of  each  grace  that  fancy  round  me 
twined  !  — 

Not  such  the  lot  I  crave. 

I  would  be  thine  ! 
Not  in  bright  summer  weather, 

A  sunny  atmosphere  of  joy  to  breathe  ; 
But  fear  and  tremble  Avhen  the  storm  clouds 
gather, 
And  shrink  life's  unrelenting  doom  beneath, 
Fiiilins;  when  needed  most. 


96  THE   WEDDING   GIFT. 

I  would  be  thine  ! 
When  sickness  doth  oppress  thee, 

With  love's  unAvearied  vigilance  to  ■watch. 
Waking — to  soothe, to  comfort,  to  caress  thee ; 
Sleeping  —  to  list  in  dread  each  sound  to 
catch. 

Thy  slumhers  that  might  break. 

I  would  be  thine  ! 
When  vexed  by  worldly  crosses, 

To  cheer  thee  with  affection's  constant  care, 
To  stay  thee  'neath  the  burden  of  thy  losses. 
By  showing  thee  how  deeply  thou  art  dear : 
Most  so  in  thy  distress. 

I  would  be  thine  ! 
Gently  and  unreplying 
To  bear  with  thee  when  chafed  and  spirit- 
worn, 
The  hasty  word,  the  quick  reproach,  denying, 
But  by  the  soft  submission  which  is  born 
Of  steadfast  love  alone. 

I  would  be  thine  ! 
My  world  in  thcc  to  centre 

With  all  its  hopes,  cares,  fears,  and  loving 
^  thought  ; 


THE   WEDDING   GIFT.  97 

No  wish  beyond  the  home  where  tliou 
should'st  enter, 
Ever  anew  to  find  thy  presence  brought 
My  life's  best  joy. 
I  would  be  thine  ! 
Not  passion's  wild  emotion, 

To  show  thee,  fitful  as  the  changing  wind ; 
But  with  a  still,  deep,  fervent,  life-devotion, 
To  be  to  thee  the  help-meet  God  designed: 
For  this  would  I  be  thine  ! 

Manchester  American. 

TO  MY  WIFE. 

There  may  be  romance  in  that  gentle  feeling 
Which  visiteth  my  heart,  when,  at  my  side, 

I  feel  a  soft  hand  through  mine  quietly  steal- 
ing, 
Yet  there  is  something  real  in  a  bride  I 

For  love  hath  music  in  it  far  more  pleasing 
Than  the  old  romance  of  the  feudal  line. 
Whose  dames,  in  verse,  were  taught  the  art 
of  teasing 
Their  red-cross  knights  to  trudge  to  Pales- 
tine. 


98  THE   WEDDING   GIFT. 

It  is  the  romance  of  fresh,  thoughts  which 
waken 
Sweetly  amid  the  visions  of  young  years, 
Heart-fraught  witli  love,  the  long  tried  and 
unshaken, 
Too  pure  for  passiou  and  too  true  for  tears. 

Yet  gazing  on  thee,  sweet,  how  thrills  my 

bosom. 

As  to  ray  heart  I  clasp  thy  yielding  form  ; 

For  life  bereft  of  thee  would  wear  no  blossom, 

Nor  would  hope's  I'ainbow  span  my  spirit's 

storm. 

Doubt  I  that  thy  young  heart  AVill  ever  falter  V 
Doubt  I  mine  own  wiU  ever  love  thee  less  ? 

Thou,  who  didst  give  me  at  the  bridal-altar. 
Thy  heart's  deep  wealth  of  untold  tender- 
ness ? 

Oh  !  never  dearest,  never,  till  the  beating 
Of  this  poor  heart,  which  throbs  for  thee, 
is  o'er ! 
Never  until  my  soul,  from  life  retreating. 
Takes  up  its  death-march  to  the   spirit- 
sliore  ! 


THE   WEDDING   GIFT.  99 

Then,  as  thy  lips  shall  kiss  me  to  my  slumber, 
As  on  life's  verge  I  say  the  long  good  night, 
How  wiU  thy  love  my  struggling  spirit  cum- 
ber. 
While  the  world  reels  and  fevers  on  my 
sight. 
Yet  in  that  distant  bourne,  where,  broken- 
hearted, 
Thou  shalt  deem  haply  that  my  soul  has 
rest. 
Can  1  but  meet  thee,  when  life  hath  departed. 
My  sin-sick  spirit  shall  be  doubly  blest ! 
H.  W.HochweU. 


THE  BRIDE  OF  THE  GREEK  ISLES. 

Come  from  the  woods  with  the  citron  flowers, 
Come  mth  your  l}Tes  for  the  festal  hours. 
Maids  of  bright  Scio ! 

They  came,  and  the  breeze 
Bore  the  sweet  sougs  o'er  the  Grecian  seas ;  — 


100  THE   WEDDING   GIFT. 

They   came,  and  Eudora  stood  rob'd  and 

crowTi'd, 
The  bride  of  the  mom,  with  her  train  around. 
Jewels  flash'd  out  from  her  braided  hair, 
Like  stany  dews  midst  the  roses  there ; 
Pearls  on  her  bosom  quivering  shone, 
Heav'd  by  her  heart  through  its  golden  zone  ; 
But  a  brow,  as  those  gems  of  the  ocean  pale, 
Gleam'dfrom  beneath  her  transparent  veil; 
Changeful  and  faint  was  her  fair  cheeks'  hue, 
Though  clear  as  a  flower  which  the  light 

looks  through  ; 
And  the  gleam  of  the  dark  resplendent  eye, — 
For  the  aspect  of  woman  at  times  too  high, — 
Lay  flashing  in  mists,  which  the  troubled 

stream 
Of  the  soul  sent  up  o'er  its  fervid  beam. 

She  look'd  on  the  vine  at  her  father's  door, 
Like  one  that  is  leaving  his  native  shore  ; 
She  liung  o'er  the  myi-tle  once  call'd  her  own, 
As  it  gi-eenly  wav'd  by  the  threshold  stone ; 
She  turn'd  —  and  her  mother's  gaze  brought 

back. 
Each  hue  of  her  childhood's  faded  track. 


THE   WEDDING   GIFT.  101 

Oh  !  hush  the  song,  and  let  licr  tears 
Flow  to  the  dream  of  her  early  years  ! 
Holy  and  pure  are  the  drops  that  fall 
When  the  young  bride  goes  from  her  father's 

haU; 
She  goes  unto  love  yet  untried  and  new, 
She  parts  from  love  which  hath  still  been 

true; 
Mute  be  the  song  and  the  choral  strain, 
Till  her  heart's  deep  well-spi'ing  is  clear 

again  ! 
She  wept  on  her  mother's  faithful  breast, 
Like  a  babe  that  sobs  itself  to  rest ; 
She  wept  —  yet  laid  her  hand  the  while 
In  Ids  that  waited  her  dawning  smile, 
Her  soul's  affianced,  nor  cherish'd  less 
For  the  gush  of  nature's  tenderness  ! 
She  lifted  her  graceful  head  at  last  — 
The  choking  swell  of  her  heart  was  past ; 
And  her  lovely  thoughts  from  their  cells 

found  way, 
In  the  sudden  flow  of  a  plaintive  lay. 

Ifrs.  Hema/ns. 


102  THE   WEDDING    GIFT. 


A  distinguished  nobleman  refused  a  dowry 
with  his  bride.  The  incident  suggested  the 
following 

LINES. 

Keep,  keep  the  maiden's  dowry, 

And  give  me  but  my  bride  ; 
Not  for  her  wealth,  I  woo  her, 

Not  for  her  station's  pride : 
She  is  a  treasui'e  in  herself — 

Worth  all  the  world  beside. 
Is  not  her  mind  a  palace, 

Wherein  are  riches  rare ; 
Bright  thoughts  that  flash  like  jewels, 

And  golden  fancies  fair, 
And  glowing  dreams  of  joy  and  hope, 
That  make  sweet  pictures  there  ? 
Keep,  keep  my  lady's  dowry; 

Her  hand,  her  heart  I  claim. 
That  little  hand  is  more  to  me 

Than  power,  rank,  or  fame  ; 
That  heart's  pure  love  is  wealth,  my  lord, 

No  more  your  coffers  name  ! 


THE   AVEDDING    GIFT.  103 

No  statue  in  your  proud  saloon, 
Can  match  her  form  of  grace  ; 

No  gem  that  lights  your  casket, 
The  radiance  of  her  face. 

In  giving  her,  you  give  me  all 
I  covet  in  earth's  space. 

Oh  !  make  her  mine,  your  idol  child  ! 

To  be  my  prize  and  pride, 
My  star  in  every  festival, 

^ly  trust  should  woe  betide, 
My  bower's  loveliest  blossom, 

Mine  own,  my  worshipped  bride. 

Mrs.   Osgood. 


WHITE  ROSES. 

They  were  ga,ther'd  for  a  bridal 
I  knew  it  by  their  hue  ; 

Fair  as  the  summer  moonliglit 
Upon  the  sleeping  dew. 


104  THE    AVKDDIXG    GIFT. 

From  their  fair  and  fairy  sisters 

They  were  borne  without  a  sigh, 
For  one  remembered  evening 

To  blossom  and  to  die. 
They  Avere  gathered  for  a  bridal  ! 

And  fastened  in  a  wreath  ; 
But  purer  were  the  roses 

Than  the  heart  that  lay  beneath ; 
Yet  the  beaming  eye  was  lovely, 

And  the  coral  lip  was  fair. 
And  the  gazer  looked  and  asked  not 

For  the  secret  hidden  there. 
They  were  gathered  for  a  bridal  ! 

Where  a  thousand  torches  glistened, 
When  the  holy  words  were  spoken, 

And  the  false  and  faithless  listened, 
And  answered  to  the  vow 

Which  another  heart  had  taken. 
Yet  he  was  present  there  — 

The  once  loved,  the  forsaken. 

They  were  gathered  for  a  bridal  ! 

And  now,  now  they  are  dying. 
And  young  Love  at  the  altar 

Of  broken  faith  is  sighing. 


THK   WEDDIXG   GIFT.  105 

Their  summer  life  was  stainless, 
And  not  like  her's  ■who  wore  them  ; 

They  are  faded,  and  the  farewell   . 
Of  beauty  lingers  o'er  them  ! 

Sarah  L.  P.  Snuth. 


THE  BRIDAL. 

The  stars  of  Heaven  and  silvery  Queen  of 

night 
Had  disappeared,and  the  glad  morning,  borne 
On  roseate  wings,  exhaled  the  crystal  drops 
From  hawthorn  bush,  from  bud  and  opening 

flower. 
Nature  awoke  in  beautj'  ;  every  breeze 
Was  fraught  with  balmy  fi  agrance  —  eveiy 

stream 
Was  tuned  to  sweetest  [melody,  while  song 

of  bird 
From  garden,  copse,  and  mead,  and  woody 

glen 


106  THE   WEDDING    GIFT. 

Mingling  wtih  nature's  matin  hymn  of  praise, 
Awoke  the  heart  to  joy.    At  such  an  hour, 
From  a  low  cottage,  in  a  humble  vale, 
Broke  forth  this  simple  strain : 

"  We  bring  forth  flowers  for  the  happy  bride. 
As  she  leaves  us  now  in  her  maiden  pride, 
As  she  bids  adieu  to  her  fatlier's  door, 
To  sit  'neath  his  shadowy  vine  no  more ; 
No  more  to  roam  through  the  woodland 

bowers, 
Nor  join  our  song  in  the  evening  hours. 
She  is  leaving  her  tender  parent's  smile, 
For  a  home  in  a  distant  and  sunny  isle  ; 
She  is  leaving  a  brother's  watchful  care. 
For  a  joyous  clime  and  a  balmy  air ; 
She  is  leaving  a  sister's  fond  caress, 
Another's  heart  to  soothe  and  bless  — 
Sweet  maiden,  fair  maiden,  remember  those 
Who  twine  for  thy  garland  the  bridal  rose  ! 

"  The  days  of  thy  childhood  have  flitted  by  ; 
With  the  speed  of  sight  they  seemed  to  fly ; 
For  ever  to  thee  they  were  fraught  with 

bliss 
And  gemmed  with  purest  happiness. 


THE   WEDDING   GIFT.  107 

To  gather  the  early  springing  flowers, 
And  while  away  the  sunny  hours  ; 
To  seek  them  oft  in  the  summer  day, 
In  dales  where  rippling  waters  play ; 
And  Avhen  autumnal  winds  had  blown, 
To  mark  where  the  withered  flower  was 

strown ; 
That  ere  cold  winter's  icy  breath 
Was  to  become  the  "  bride  of  death." 
These  were  thy  pastimes  Avith  us,  and  we 
A  "  blessing  and  blest "  fraternity. 
We'll  twine  the  myrtle  vine  again. 
We'll  pour  once  more  the  choral  strain ; 
Sweet  maiden,  fair  maiden,  0,  never  for- 
get 
Who  twined  for  thy  garland  the  migno- 
nette ! 
"  We  may  wander  still  'neath  the  silvery 
moon. 
We  may  tread  the  dance  to  the  lyre's  glad 

tune  ; 
The  flowers  may  bloom  round  thy  valley 

home. 
The    spring's    fresh    breezes    again    may 
come  ; 


108  THK    WEDDIXG    GIFT. 

The  forest,  the  meadow,  the  greenwood 

bowers, 
May  wear  the  hue  of  thy  childhood's  hours ; 
The  mountain  toiTent  may  still  gush  forth, 
When  thou  art   gone  with  thy  youthful 

mirth ; 
But  the  hopes  we  have  cherished  will  pass 

away, 
We  shall  miss  in  its  gladness  thy  spirit's 

ray; 
Yet  still  may  the  pleasure  thou'st  nourished, 

bloom 
'Neath  the  summer  skies  of  thine  island 

home. 
Sweet  maiden,  fair  maiden,  our  love  is  true, 
And  we'll  twine  for  thy  garland  the  violet 

blue. 
The  pleasures  of  childhood  tliy  love  hath 

proved, 
Then  "  fare  thee  well  "  maiden,  so  fondly 

beloved  ! " 

And  they  brought  flowers,  and  on  that  sunny 

brow 
They  placed  a  beauteous  garland,  and  they 

breathed 


THE   WEDDING   GIFT.  109 

A  fervent  prayer,  that  life  might  ever  be, 
As  it  had  been  to  her,  a  happy  scene, 
A  pathway  strewn  with  every  fragrant  flower 
Of  cherished  love,  and  ever  fresh  delight. 
And  with  the  sunshine  of  Love's  joyous  smile. 
She  passed  on,  to  her  home,  that  sunny  isle. 
F .  A.  C. 


A  LASSIE'S  MEDITATIONS. 


Nae  sweet-heart  hae  I,  though  I  am  not  ill 

faurd  ; 
But  there's  ower  monie  lasses,  and  wooers 

are  scared. 
This  night  I  the  hale  o'  my  fortune  wad  gie. 
If  every  lassie  were  married  but  me. 

Then  I  wad  get  plenty  about  me  to  speer 
Fold  wad  na  be  fashions  for  beauty  or  gear: 
Hearts  broken  in  dozens  around  I  should 

see, 
If  everv  lassie  were  married  but  me. 


110  THE  WEDDING   GIFT. 

One  lover  wad  hae  a'  my  errands  to  rin, 
Anither  should  tend  me  baith  outly  and  in ; 
To  keep  me  good  humor' d  wad  tak  two  or 

three 
If  every  lassie  were  married  but  me. 
A  daft  dream  I  dream' d  —  it  has  faded  awa ; 
Nae  bodie  in  passing  e'er  gie's  me  a  ca'  ; 
Nae  laddie  to  court  me  I  ever  shall  see 
Till  every  lassie  is  married  but  me. 

E.  Elliott 


THE  SAILOR  LOVER. 

My  bark  shall  be  our  home  ; 

The  gale  shall  chant  our  bridal  melodies  ; 

The  stars  that  light  the  angel  palaces 

Of  air,  our  lamps  ;  our  floor,  the  crystal  deep 

Studded  Avith  sapphires,sparkling  as  we  pass ; 

Our  roof,  all  Heaven !  my  beautiful,  my  own ! 

Never  did  sail  more  gladly  glide  to  port 

Than  I  to  thee !  my  anchor  in  thy  faith, 

And  in  thuic  eyes  my  haven  ! 

Sir  E.  L.  Bulwer. 


THE   WEDDING   GIFT.  Ill 


THE  BRIDAL. 

Oh  !  they  are  blest  indeed,  and  swift  the  hours 
Till  her  young  sisters  wreathe  her  hair  in 

flowers. 
Then  before  all  they  stand  ;  the  holy  vow, 
And  ring  of  gold  —  no  fond  illusions  now  — 
Bind  her  as  his.    Across  the  threshold  led, 
And  every  tear  kissed  off  as  soon  as  shed, 
His  house  she  enters,  there  to  be  a  light, 
Shining  within,  when  all  without  is  night  ; 
A  guardian  angel  o'er  his  life  presiding. 
Doubling  his  pleasure,  and  his  cares  dividing ! 
How  oft  her  eyes  read  his  ;  her  gentle  mind 
To  all  his  wishes,  all  his  thoughts  inclined  ; 
Still  subject  —  ever  on  the  watch  to  bon-o\v 
Mirth  of  his  mirth,  and  sorrow  of  his  sorrow — 
The  soul  of  music  slumbers  in  the  shell 
Till  waked  to  rapture  by  the  master's  spell ; 
And  feeling  hearts  —  touch  them  but  rightly, 

pour 
A  thousand  melodies  unheard  before. 

Eager  s. 


112  THE   WEDDING   GIFT. 


A  NORTHERN  LEGEND. 

There  sits  a  gentle  maiden, 

The  sea  is  munnuring  nigh  ; 
She  throws  the  hook  and  watches - 

The  fishes  pass  it  by. 
A  ring  with  a  red  jewel 

Is  sparkling  on  her  hand, 
Upon  the  hook  she  binds  it, 

And  casts  it  from  the  land. 
Uprises  from  the  water 

A  hand  like  ivory  fair  — 
What  gleams  upon  its  finger  ? 

The  golden  ring  is  there. 
Up  rises  from  the  bottom 

A  young  and  handsome  knight ; 
In  golden  scales  he  rises, 

That  glitter  in  the  light. 
The  maid  is  pale  with  terror  — 

"  Nay,  knight  of  ocean,  nay, 
It  Avas  not  thee  I  wanted  ; 

Let  go  the  ring,  I  pray." 


THE   -WEDDING   GIFT.  113 

•  The  bait  of  gold  and  jewels 

Is  not  to  fishes  thrown  ; 
The  ring  shall  never  leave  me, 

And,  maiden,  thou  'rt  my  own." 

Bryant. 


A  WIFE  TO  HER  HUSBA^^D. 

With  thee  conversing  I  forget  aU  time  ; 
All  seasons  and  their  change,  all  please  alike ; 
Sweet  is  the  breath  of  morn,  her  rising  sweet, 
With  charm  of  earliest  birds  ;  pleasant  the 

sun, 
When  first  on  this  delightful  land  he  spreads 
His  orient  beams  on  herb,  tree,  fruit,  and 

flower. 
Glistering   with   dew  ;    fragrant  the  fertile 

earth 
After  soft  showers ;  and  sweet  the  coming  on 
Of  gi-ateful  evening  mUd  :  then  silent  night. 
With  this  her  solemnbird,  and  this  fair  moon, 
And  these  the  gems  of  Heaven,  her  starry- 
train  :  — 


114  THE   WEDDING   GIFT. 

But  neither  breath  of  mom,  when  she  as- 
cends 
With  charm  of  earliest  birds  ;  nor  rising  sun 
On  this   delightful  land  ;  nor  herb,  fruit, 

flower. 
Glistering  with  dew  ;  nor  fragrance   after 

showers  ; 
Nor  grateful  evening  mild  ;  nor  silent  night 
With  this  her  solemn  bird,  nor  walk  by  moon. 
Or  glittering  starlight — without  thee  is  sweet. 

Milton, 


DOMESTIC  LOVE. 

Oh  !  happy  they,  the  happiest  of  their  kind  ! 
Whom  gentler  stars  unite,  and  in  one  fate 
Their  hearts,  their  fortunes,  and  their  beings 

blend. 
'Tis  not  the  coarser  ties  of  human  laws, 
Unnatural  oft,  and  foreign  to  the  mind, 
That  binds  their  peace,  but  harmony  itself, 
Attuning  all  their  passions  into  love  : 


THE   WEDDING    GIFT.  115 

^Mierc  friendship  full  exerts  her  softest  power, 

Perfect  esteem,  enlivened  by  desire 

InetTable,  and  sympathy  of  soul ; 

Thought  meeting  thought,  and  will  prevent- 
ing will. 

With  boundless  confidence  ;  for  naught  but 
love 

Can  answer  love,  and  render  bliss  secure. 
Thotnson. 


THE  WIFE'S  LAMENT. 


The  trump  and  the  banner  still  lead  him 

afar  — 
Ambition  alone  seems  his  life-guiding  star. 
And  tones  that  I  loved  as  the  music  of  song. 
Now  only  to  dreams  and  remembrance  belong. 

And  while  woodlands  brighten,  too  soon  to 

decay, 
And  flowers  are  passing  like  spirits  away. 


116  THE  WEDDING   GIFT. 

I  can  but  half  liken  tlieir  fate  to  my  own, 
And  think  that  hope,  gladness,  like  them  may- 
be shown. 

Ah  !  can  all  the  joys  that  so  long  I  have  felt, 
Like  mists  from  the  mount,  into  nothingness 

melt? 
The  last  look  at  parting,  its  sorrow  divine  — 
Can  it  fade  from  his  bosom  and  cling  but  to 

mine  ? 

Be  still  my  sad  heart,  he  yet  will  return, 
And  loves  brightest  torch  more  brightly  shall 

burn, 
And  thou,  my  young  blossom,  smile  on  in 

thy  glee, 
No  thought  would  I  mingle  of  sadness  with 

thee. 

Yes  !  smile  —  and  its  rapture  my  heart  shall 

renew, 
I'U  read  in  thy  glance  that  the  absent  is 

true  ; 
He  called  me  his  ever,  his  lip  on  my  brow, 
I  trusted  then  fondly  —  I'll  doubt  him  not 

now  ! 


TUB   WEDDING   GIFT.  117 

And  though  founts  of  feeling  may  close  not 

at  will ; 
His  mem'ry  returns  to  my  heart  with  a 

thrill, 
And  let  stiU  forever  griefs  fountain  awake  — 
I  well  could  bear  madness,  if  borne  for  his 

T.  n.  Cushman. 


HUSBANDS. 

Assist  your  wives  in  making  home  happy, 
preserve  the  hearts  you  have  won. 

1.  When  you  return  from  your  daily  avo- 
cations, do  you  find  your  habitations  allur- 
ing ?  Do  not  sit  doAvn  in  a  comer,  silent 
and  sullen,  with  clouded  brow,  and  visage 
repulsive.  Meet  your  beloved  ones  with  a 
smile  of  joy  and  satisfaction :  take  them  by 
the  hand. 

2.  Never  indulge  in  coarse,  harsh,  or  pro- 
fane words.  These  to  a  woman  of  refine- 
ment, of  delicate  and  tender  sensibility,  are 
exceedingly  disgusting,  and  tend  to  grieve 


118  THE  -WEDDING   GIFT. 

her  spirit.  Let  the  law  of  kindness  dwell 
upon  your  lips  :  Avrite  it  upon  the  table  of 
your  heart.  Modesty  and  delicacy  are  gems 
of  priceless  value  ;  keep  them  polished  like 
burnished  gold. 

3.  Husbands,  be  exceedingly  cautious 
never  to  say  or  do  anything  that  will  tend  to 
mortify  the  feelings  of  your  wives  in  com- 
pany. Here,  if  possible,  show  them  more 
marked  respect  than  when  alone. 

4.  Give  your  ^-ives  to  understand  that  you 
esteem  them  above  all  others  ;  make  tliem 
your  confidants  ;  confide  in  them,  and  they 
will  confide  in  you  ;  confidence  begets  con- 
fidence, love  begets  love,  sweetness  begets 
sweetness. 

5.  Above  all,  sympathize  with  the  wives 
of  your  bosoms  in  the  hour  of  aflliction. 
Kejoice  with  them  when  they  rejoice,  and 
weep  with  them  when  they  weep.  Who,  if 
not  a  bosom  companion,  will  wipe  from  the 
cheek  the  falling  tear  of  soitow  V 

6.  Finally ;  husbands,  remember  that  death 
wiU  soon  sever  the  combined  cord !  When 
you  behold  her,  with  whom  you  lived  and 


THE   WEDDING    GIFT.  119 

toiled,  and  wept  and  rejoiced,  cold  and  life- 
less, laid  in  the  coffin  — 
Think  of  the  happiness  so  deep  and  tender, 
That  filled  thy  heart  when  wandering  by 

her  side, 
Think  how  her  faintest  smile  had  power  to 

render 

The  darkest  moment  one  of  love  and  pride. 

And  now  that  this  frail  form  in  death  grows 
colder, 

A  sweet,  calm  rapture  fills  the  parting  hour. 
That  thou  art  -w-ith  her,  though  a  sad  be- 
holder, 

A  "witness  of  the  dear  Redeemer's  power  ! 

Will  you  then  regret  that  you  studied 
always  to  promote  her  happiness  ?  that  the 
law  of  kindness  and  love  dwelt  on  your  lips 
evennore  ?  Oh,  think,  and  be  now  her  min- 
istering angel ! 


120  THE   WEDDING    GIFT. 


ON  A  MARRIAGE. 

Now  joy  be  thine,  my  noble  brother, 
For  thou  hast  won  a  gifted  bride  ; 
The  heart  that  never  loved  another, 
Is  beating  fondly  at  thy  side. 
The  channs  of  youth  may  not  endure  ; 
Earth's  finest  gold  hath  some  alloy  ; 
But  that  young  heart,  so  high  and  pure, 
Is  wealth  and  thine  ;  I  give  thee  joy  I 


HOME'S  ENDEARMENTS. 

There  are  joys,  by  the  fireside  of  home, 

Where  strangers  our  peace  cannot  mar  ; 
And,  foolish  are  all  tliey  wlio  roam 
For  blessings  which  come  not  from  afar. 
In  the  lieart  of  dear  home, 

Swells  the  fountain  of  bliss. 
And  its  waters  are  sweet 
As  the  balm  of  a  kiss. 


THE   WEDDING   GIFT.  121 

When  the  day  with  its  duties  aud  cares, 

Its  burdens  and  trials,  is  past, 
And  little  ones,  lisping  their  prayers, 
Are  lulled  to  their  slumbers  at  last. 
There's  a  quiet  of  spirit  — 

A  calm  of  the  heart  — 
That  induces  content. 
And  bids  sorrow  depart. 

In  the  turmoil  and  bustle  of  life, 

Though  cares  vex  and  weary  the  sire, — 
And  duties  of  mother  and  wife. 
Her  heart's  cherished  patience  require, 
Yet  they  meet  at  the  fireside, 

At  evening's  still  hour,  — 

And  the  care-cloud  is  vanished, 

^Vnd  love  proves  his  power. 

There's  a  rapture  worlds  cannot  express,  — 

A  joy  language  cannot  define, 
At  home ;  where  love's  deep  tenderness 
Seems  poured  from  a  fountain  divine  ;  — 
There  s^onpathy  giashes,  — 

Soft  music  is  there, 
And  devotion  mounts  up 
On  the  pinions  of  prayer. 


122  THE  WEDDING   GIFT. 

While,  above  the  bright  course  of  love's 
stream, 
(To  assure  them  it  ever  shall  flow,) 
With  the  hues  of  a  glorious  dream, 
Hope  arches  her  beautiful  bow, 
But  their  Faith  mounts  its  keystone, 

Then,  piercing  the  sky, 
Finds  a  holler  home. 
By  love's  fountain  on  high. 

E.  Porter  Dyer. 


The  heart  of  woman,  like  the  diamond,  has 

Light  treasured  in  it.     There  a  ray  serene 

Of  heaven's  own  sunshine  ever  more  hath 

been  ; 

And  though  each  star  of  hope  and  joy  may 

pass 
Away  in  darkness  from  life's  stormy  sky. 
If  man  but  kindly  keep  that  heart,  he'll 

find 
Sweet  gleams   of   consolation  there  en- 
shrined. 


THE  WEDDING   GIFT.  123 


THE  BRIDAL  DAY. 

Go  forth,  young  bride  !    The  future  lies  be 
fore  thee  ; 
Hidden    in    clouds    are    all    the   coming 
hours ; 
None  can  tell  what  fate  is  brooding  o'er 
thee, 
How  much  thy  path  contains  of  thorns  and 
flowers. 
Thy  childliood's  home,  where  thou  wert  late 
reposing 
In  happy  sliunbers,  and  innocent,  free, 
This  night  excludes  thee,  when  its  doors  are 
closing, 
Only  a  visitor  henceforth  to  be  ! 

Leaving    that   home  —  hast    thou    secured 
another, 
Standing  wide  open  to  receive  thy  feet ; 
Loved  by  his  sisters  —  welcome  to  his  mother. 
Shall  kindly  smiles  thy  gracious  presence 
meet  V 


124  THE   WEDDING   GIFT. 

Or  holdst  thou  in  fear  that  dreadful  treasure, 
Love's  lonely  anchorage  in  one  human 
heart? 
Learning  its  strength  of  silver  links  to  meas- 
ure 
When  friends  and  foes  alike  conspire  to 
part  ? 
Art  thou  beloved,  and  dost  thou  love  him 
truly, 
By  whom  —  with  whom  —  thy  lot  of  life  is 
cast  ? 
Or  hast  thou  rashly,  weakly,  or  unduly, 
In  wrath,  or  scorn,  or  grief,  thus  sealed  the 
past  ? 
If,  stung  by  memories,  thou  must  dissemble. 
Of  one  who  left  there,  fickle  and  unkind  ; 
Thy  pride  thus  seeks  to  wound  the  incon- 
stant—  tremble  ! 
Back  to  thy  heart  that  shaft  its  way  shall 
find! 
Wo  for  the  bitter  days,  too  late  repenting 

Th'  iiTecoverable  step  —  the  broken  rest — 
Wlien  thou  shalt  lean  thy  weary  head,  la- 
menting 
On  the  lost  refuse  of  thv  mother's  breast ! 


THE  WEDDING   GIFT.  125 

There,  in  the  recklessness  of  early  sorrow, 
Holding  no  hope  of  brighter  days  to  come  — 

Yearning  to  die  before  the  darkened  morrow. 
And  be  calm  buried  near  thy  cliildhood's 
home  ! 

Shalt  thou,  in  this  strange  world  of  serpent 
slander, 
Escaping  all  its  venom  and  deep  shame. 
In  tranquil  paths,  obscurely  happy,  wander, 
Where  none  shall  point  thee  out  for  praise 
or  blame  : 
Or  shalt  thou  dwell  in  mingled  smiles  and 
frowning, 
Half  envied,  half  enshrined,  by  Fashion's 
slaves, 
Then,  shipwrecked  sink,  like  one  who  suffers 
drowning 
After  vain  struggle  with  opposing  waves  ! 

WiU  he,  thy  mate,  be  true  to  vows  of  duty. 
Or  shalt  thou  weep,  with  eyelids  veiled  and 
dim. 
The  lost  advantage  of  thy  powerless  beauty. 
Which,  praised  by  others,  kept  no  hold  on 
him  V 


126  THE   WEDDING   GIFT. 

Shall  some  fair  temptress,  like  a  dazzling 
meteor, 
Teach  him  thy  more  familiar  charms  to 
slight  — 
Thy  deep  love  weighed  against  each  novel 
feature, 
A  balance,  sated  custom  renders  light  ? 

Who  shall  decide  ?    The  Bridal  Day  !  Oh  ! 
make  it 
A  day  of  sacrament  and  fervent  prayer, 
Though  every  circumstance  conspire  to  take 
it 
Out  of  the  common  prophecy  of  care  ! 
Let  not  vain  merriment  and  giddy  laughter. 
Be  the  last  sound  in  thy  departing  ear  — 
For  God  alone  can  tell  what  cometh  after, 
What  store  of  sorrow,  or  what  cause  for 
fear  ! 
Go  forth,  young  bride  ! 

Mrs.  Norton. 


THE   WEDDING    GIFT.  127 


HOME  AFFECTIONS. 


Come,  dearest,  I  have  trimmed  the  lamp, 

And  by  our  cottage  hearth, 
Now  let  us,  for  one  little  hour, 

Forget  the  -woes  of  earth. 

How  many  lines  of  anxious  care 

Are  wTdtten  on  thy  brow  ! 
Who  could  have  dreamed  of  such  a  lot 

For  one  so  good  as  thou  ? 

And  yet,  amid  these  weary  toils 
Why  should  thy  heart  repine. 

When  there  is  such  a  world  of  love 
Within  this  home  of  thine  ? 

0,  blessings  on  thee  for  the  love 
That's  beaming  from  thine  eyes, 

I  know  there's  still  an  Eden  left 
To  which  thy  spirit  flies. 


128  THE   WEDDING   GIFT. 


Then,  dearest,  when  the  cold  world  frowns, 

Recall  some  sunny  smiles 
And  cany  in  thy  heart  the  song 

That  weariness  beguiles. 


ON  CHOOSING  A  HUSBAND. 

When  you  see  a  young  man  of  modest, 
respectful,  retiring  manners,  not  given  to 
pride,  or  vanity,  or  to  flatter}'',  he  will  make 
a  good  husband,  for  he  will  be  the  same  to 
his  wife  after  marriage  that  he  was  before  it. 

When  you  see  a  young  man  who  is  atten- 
tive and  kind  to  his  sisters  or  aged  mother, 
who  is  not  ashamed  to  be  seen  in  the  streets 
with  the  woman  who  gave  him  birth  and 
nursed  him,  and  who  will  attend  to  all  her 
wants  with  filial  love,  affection,  and  tender- 
ness, he  will  certainly  make  a  very  good 
husband. 


B     000  003  352     2 


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